The Pick-Up Artist: Opening Weekend for the Experts
by Howard Roark
So if you don’t own The Santa Clause 3, Flushed Away or Borat this weekend, there is nothing out there for you to make a last moment acquisition that will advance your slate. For this reason, I will dispense with the usual Pick-Up Artist column that tells you what films might be available and helpful to your slate. Instead, we will take a look at the Fantasy Moguls Celebrity/Experts League.
Congratulations are in order for Jenn Sterger. I fear this might be the only opportunity we have to commend her slate, especially considering I just saw the Van Wilder 2 trailer. Anyway, Jenn owns Saw 3 and while using a first round pick to secure it was, at the very least, a little questionable, it allows her the opportunity to boast at least 7 days in first place—kind of like the Lakers are able to after their opening night victory over Phoenix last night, or the Milwaukee Brewers who started 2006 with 4 consecutive victories. In other words, it probably ain’t gonna last for you either, Jenn.
Also getting on the board with Babel is gofugyourself.com. Jessica, one-half of the acerbic, hilarious duo, not only recognizes poor fashion choices in the Hollywood sect but she recognizes that in order to win in Moguls, you have to compete in all four categories. Babel, a smart choice in the third round will have 10 PTA points after this weekend, and my guess is there won’t be 5 other films in the game with double digit PTA points. Another of the films with a shot at double digit is also owned by gofugyourself and opens this weekend. The film is Pedro Almodovar’s Volver and should provide an interesting battle for 1st place with Babel in PTA.
Three of the other studios also open their first films this weekend. With it looking more and more like The Santa Clause 3 will be the weekend box office king, this savvy acquisition by TheOnion.com’s Nathan Rabin is showing up Fantasy Moguls.com’s selection of Flushed Away just two picks earlier. Nathan picked up The Santa Clause just after it made Happy Feet the last pick of the first round--thus giving it a larger signing bonus. This is shaping up to be a formidable 1-2 family punch—so long as Warner Bros. refuses to let Robin Williams annoy everybody on the talk show circuit. The marketing materials look great and the cute, dancing penguins will make everybody forget the cuddly Penguin who cried ice cubes when Bugs Bunny left him at the North Pole instead of taking him to the Hoboken Zoo—unless I’m the only one who remembers him. OOOOOOH, I’m dyin’ again!
Lastly, as I wrote in my Expert Draft Analysis, The Fantasy Show and Baseball Prospectus wunderkind, Will Carroll is the proud owner of 1st round selection, and number 2 overall pick, Borat. Much has been written on this site regarding the tempered prospects given the lack of awareness of Borat outside of major markets. Certainly this should improve the PTA finish this weekend, and while it most likely it will have the best PTA of the Top 10 money earners, it will take a miracle to topple either Volver or Babel. Once again, this film should have been selected with a later pick.
The remaining three studios all get on the board in the following two weeks. Yahoo Sports's Brandon Funston, a veteran of far too many fantasy leagues, gets on the board on November 17 with Bobby, a film that despite Fantasy Moguls tracking guru Steve Mason’s recent pessimism, is still garnering great early buzz. Deadspin.com and its fearless leader Will Leitch counters with Fast Food Nation and For Your Consideration on the same date. These films should help Deadspin to corner the PTA market for this weekend. Lastly, Jeffrey Snider from Ain’t it Cool News opens the big boy on the block for November 17…Casino Royale. This film certainly looks poised to become the All-Time Bond film at the B.O.
A little later in the month, we’ll be back to take a look at how the Experts are shaping up, and what moves they should consider in order to compete for the crown. (Are you listening Jenn Sterger…you need to make some moves!)
Howard doesn’t claim to be an expert. He just knows more than everyone else. Except for his wife. (Statement made for contractual obligations). If you think you know more than his wife—you don’t…but email him anyway at Howard@fantasymoguls.com.


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