In the wake of films like Remember the Titans, Gridiron Gang, Invincible, Friday Night Lights (both film and TV series), and now We Are Marshall, I think I know what it takes. First and foremost, you need to be inspirational. Am I an inspiration to others? That's a big time yes. Second, a football coach needs to be a man of the people. Got that too. And that's about it, as far as I can tell. Sure, I guess I need to know how the game's played, but it's not like I'm going to be coaching little league. I'm talking about pro and/or college football. The players know the game already -- they know where they're supposed to line up, how to throw a ball. And my assistant coaches can tell these guys what plays to call. I can't be bothered with that boring stuff. I need to focus on the fundamentals: my carefully dissheveled hair, my clothes, and my "Just go out there and have fun" look. 

You know what I'm talking about. During the game, when the chips are down, when all is lost, and I look at my team with a gleam in my eye, half smile-half frown, and a running of my hands through my carefully dissheveled hair. You've seen it in a million trailers, in a thousand football movies. And lately, it feels like all those football movies are coming out right now.

Frankly, I'm a little tired of it. I mean, is football the only sport out there? What happened to all the movies about the ragtag women's beach volleyball teams? Where's my movie about the kickball team from the wrong side of the tracks with nothing to lose? I think you know what I'm saying. When it comes to football movies, we've seen it. We've been there and we've sure as hell done that.

Okay, good talk this week. What have we learned? Not much, except that when you're picking out movies for your list, and you're looking for something new to put asses in seats, stay away from words like "Gridiron," "Marshall," "gameplan" or any combination of the above.

Now hit the track and give me five good laps.

Ronald Banks has passed the ultimate test of football acumen -- his fantasy team made it to the playoffs.  But should he start Edgerrin James over Marques Colston or Marion Barber?  Let him know at Ronald@fantasymoguls.com.