WEEKEND ROUND-UP: Wake Me Up When September Ends
by Howard Roark
It's really tough to get all geeked out when the No. 1 film in the country grosses a mere $15 million, especially in the middle of the holiday season. Certainly those who drafted Apocalypto AFTER their cohorts drafted The Holiday and Blood Diamond can take a measure of satisfaction out of collecting 5 Top 5 points, but it will all be short-lived with the trio of big openers due out this weekend (Charlotte's Web, The Pursuit of Happyness and Eragon).
The success of Apocalypto proves one of three things. Either 1) moviegoers are an incredibly forgiving bunch when it comes to celebrity missteps, 2) the general public couldn't care less about a filmmaker's politics and only care about being entertained, or 3) more people than any of us hoped actually endorse the drunkenness and anti-Semitic rantings of Mel Gibson. Wherever the truth lies, I know I feel a little depressed. But Mogulers who sensed the indifference of the paying public were also treated to a second place finish in PTA for the film about a dying Mayan civilization.
The news was far less rosy for The Holiday, a female weepy that attracted -- surprise! -- only females. With little more than $12 million for its opening weekend, the Kate Winselt/Cameron Diaz "women on the verge of a nervous breakdown due to celibacy" film betrayed the hopes of those who drafted it knowing of Nancy Meyers's terrific track record for December openings. What Women Want collected $33 million in its opening, and although Something's Gotta Give only opened to $16 million, it went on to gross $124 million. It's true that there is very little in the marketplace like The Holiday, and Sony is hoping the film has legs and plays throughout the season. The difference with this Nancy Meyers film, however, is that it's got nothing -- zip, zilch, nada -- for the guys. At least What Women Want had a pre-hate speech Mel, and Something's Gotta Give had Jack.
The news was even worse for Blood Diamond, which finished a distant 5th place. If only Leo had made some racially insensitive statements about Hispanics, perhaps Blood Diamond might have fared better. As it is, DiCaprio's (and the film's) message about racial injustice in the diamond mines of Sierra Leone -- I don't need to see the movie, I've already memorized the lyrics to the Kanye West song -- did not attract an audience. In fact, lackluster numbers for the new offerings highlight the continued dominance of Happy Feet, which collects another 4 Top 5 points. "March of the Penguins Part Deux" has now amassed an astounding 19 Top 5 points in its first four weeks and is virtually guaranteed of being the number one film in this category for the current game. Casino Royale continued its solid hold, finishing fourth.
Just how uninspiring was this weekend's overall performance for Mogulers? Well, the 3rd- through 5th-place finishers in PTA each averaged less than $5,000 per theater, a situation that has only materialized 4 times this entire year, most recently in the post-summer haze of September, when Gridiron Gang led the charge at the box office while The U.S. vs. John Lennon (proud recipient of a "This movie was released?" award), was tops in PTA with a $6,100 average. This is a rather embarrassing development. It's December for crying out loud! Since when does December play out like it's the September dumping ground?! For shame, holiday season! For shame!
After Volver claimed the top PTA slot once again, Apocalypto, The Holiday and Blood Diamond filled the 2-4 holes, with The History Boys finishing fifth. This upcoming weekend should make us forget the paltry numbers of the last few days. Even with what I am expecting will be dismal numbers for Eragon (this is based on my viewing of commercials and trailers; I have no knowledge of the tracking, so you'll have to wait until Steve Mason's Thursday column), I think we'll see two huge successes in Charlotte’s Web and The Pursuit of Happyness. Of course, only Mel Gibson's Lord really knows.
Howard Roark does not hate anti-Semites. In fact, some of his best friends are anti-Semites. If you're an anti-Semite, please feel free to email your local Krav Maga studio, provide them your name and address and see how they react. If you're not an anti-Semite, then you can email Howard at Howard@fantasymoguls.com.


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