Perhaps an explanation is in order. (Everyone: "Ya think?!") No, I haven't been at the Chablis. No, I haven't been out in the sun too long ... although anyone who's ever been in Phoenix in July would know that "too long" equals about five damn minutes. The reason I've adopted the ridiculously annoying accent of a snooty maitre'd for this column is because, among the usual critiques of upcoming films, we will be exploring some of the nuances of French influences on American cinema. The reasons why will become clear in due course.

Before I begin, I would like to give sincere props to Fantasy Moguls's own Chienfantome, whose input on this particular column was beyond invaluable. Being an actual Parisian, he has a perspective that I simply couldn't resist exploring. So, in case you may wonder which of the following insights are mine and which are his, I'll make it easy for you: Anything that sounds remotely coherent or intelligent is probably his. (Wink.)

This summer alone, we've already had a host of movies that either features the French language, a French setting, or both: Angel-A, My Best Friend, Paris Je T'aime and Ratatouille. In coming weeks, we will also have Mr. Bean's Holiday and Moliere. And for the weekend of Aug. 10, there will be three more cinematic sojourns to the City of Light: Rush Hour 3, Dans Paris, and 2 Days in Paris. We will also be taking a look at Daddy Day Camp, Stardust and Rocket Science.

I'll start with the two Wednesday releases, beginning with Daddy Day Camp (Aug. 8), and you'll forgive me if I go get some Pepto while I blow through this critique. When Daddy Day Care became the surprise comedy hit of 2003 (to the tune of $104 million), there were reasons for it ... Eddie Murphy, Steve Zahn and a director (Steve Carr) who was coming off of two comedy hits (Dr. Dolittle 2 and Next Friday). Hoping to reheat the leftovers for some extra green, little Kevin Arnold himself, Fred Savage, is sitting in the big chair for the very first time, and stepping into Murphy's role is none other than Cuba Gooding Jr.

Do I really need to do this? Yes, I do. Rat Race. Snow Dogs. Boat Trip. The Fighting Temptations. Home on the Range. Shadowboxer. Silly, stupid choices made by an actor that I USED to think was much, much better than this. But after ten straight years without a bona fide hit (no, Norbit doesn't count), I begin to wonder whether "Show me the money" became not just his catchphrase, but his personal philosophy.

This movie will cost you $2 in Ultimate leagues, and for good reason ... $1 movies don't exist. It may grab a couple of Top 5 points, but I'd bet actual money that Day Camp's eventual User Ratings are going to put it in IMDb's Bottom 250 of all time. And as for Box Office, well, it'll only run you $5, and it MIGHT make the $17 million FM has predicted, but then, there's being able to look at yourself in the mirror, too. Believe me; you don't want to pile delusion on TOP of shame, because that is one crazy sandwich.

Dans Paris (Aug. 8), a French-subtitled film, is helmed by acclaimed director Christophe Honore, who is a personal favorite of French critics. Not surprisingly, this film was a huge hit at Cannes last year. It also stars Romain Duris, who is quite possibly the greatest French actor working today, and who also stars as the title character in the upcoming Moliere.

This film, a very intimate look into the life of a Parisian family consisting of a 60-year-old cynical father and his two sons, starts out very poorly, but improves considerably in the second half. It is well acted, fresh, funny and intense. Regrettably, its current User Rating of 6.3 will not do you any favors in the Ultimate leagues, and it's extremely unlikely to garner any points in PTA. For $7, you could probably find something better ... more's the pity.

If you enjoyed Richard Linklater's Before Sunset (2003), you'll probably like 2 Days in Paris, which also stars French beauty Julie Delpy (who is also directing). Both films have the same touch and spirit, but 2 Days, while less romantic, has more humor and joie de vivre. Jack (Adam Goldberg) and Marion (Delpy) visit Paris in an attempt to rekindle their relationship by visiting her parents (who speak no English), and she ends up running into several of her ex-boyfriends. Awkward! While you might think that double entendres might be the order of the day, this is not the case.

Even though it was a French production company that filmed it, 2 Days still has an American look to it, and it is the type of film that French moviegoers love to see about Paris. There's the clash of cultures, of course, but you also get to experience first-hand the Parisian way of life and the French art of enjoying it, and it is "so much fun." It has been well-received by critics, and currently holds a User Rating of 7.3, which might explain the $13 price tag attached to it. This might be a good way to garner some PTA, but to be absolutely sure, find out how many theaters it will be shown in before you cement a place for it on your roster.

Finally, we come to the third film this week that has a "French connection," Rush Hour 3. Sigh. You, know, I have never been one to let a celebrity's actions decide whether or not I want to see a particular film. I like to think that I can effectively separate the art from the artist, as it were. I know a fair amount of people, however, who are not so forgiving. I've had friends tell me that they will never again watch something that had Tom Cruise's or Mel Gibson's name attached to it (for reasons that should be self-evident). I could recommend Mission: Impossible III or Apocalypto to them all I like, but I doubt it would do any good.

If there WAS one movie, however, that I might choose to ignore on principle alone, it would be this one. Why? Chris Tucker. This man, with a grand total of nine projects under his belt, and I mean EVER, had the stones to demand $20 million if they wanted him to do a third Rush Hour movie. Things got so bad at one point, even his amicable co-star, Jackie Chan, wanted nothing more to do with him. In short, he became the acting profession's equivalent of Terrell Owens.

Now, it has been six years since Rush Hour 2 crashed through theaters and left with an unbelievable $226 million, and in the meantime, the former stand-up comic has seen fit to take on not even one single project ... unless you count reckless driving or testifying in the King of Pop's molestation trial, that is. Ultimately, I'm not sure which side caved in first, but the end result is our sixth threequel of the summer. I wonder if we'll be able to see Chan gritting his teeth or cursing director Brett Ratner's name under his breath at any point during the length of this movie.

Continuing the trend, detectives Carter and Lee once again face off against an Asian crime syndicate, this time in Paris. The supporting cast includes veteran actor Max Von Sydow, controversial director Roman Polanski (yes, really), and noted French thespian Yvan Attal. Let us just hope that if nothing else, this film, along with the upcoming Mr. Bean's Holiday, encourages more studios to consider Paris as a filming location (assuming there's anything left of the place after Mr. Tucker and Mr. Atkinson have left town).

Given the lack of better options in the action category for August, it might be worth shelling out $17 for this film in Box Office. $60 million, two PTA, five Top 5, and 5.2 User Ratings are the predictions from Fantasy Moguls, which aren't too bad, I guess, but spend the $15 this would cost you in Ultimate at your peril. For what it's worth, I'll probably still see this film out of morbid curiosity and/or boredom, and God willing, I'll even enjoy it. But I'm not putting it on my slate. I do have SOME principles, after all. (Grin.)

Slightly more appealing are the prospects for Stardust. This movie, so I am led to believe, has something in it for everyone: fantasy, sci-fi, action, romance, comedy, and a compelling story line. There was a private screening of this film last month, and the two reviews I've read have nothing but praise for this sleeper-hit-in-the-making. Told very much as a classic storybook fairy tale, with outstanding visual effects and cinematography, as well as a score that you have to hear to believe, there is enough drama, suspense and tension to keep even the most easily-bored moviegoers on the edge of their seat.

We expect a lot from perennial veterans Robert De Niro and Michelle Pfeiffer, and they do not disappoint, and neither do young actors Charlie Cox, Claire Danes or Sienna Miller. And if you need more reason to see this film, how about Peter O'Toole, Ian McKellen, Rupert Everett and Ricky Gervais? I mean, seriously?! (I think my British gland just exploded with delight.)

In either kind of league, this pick seems to be well worth the $20-plus price tag. Though it might run up against some fierce competition in The Simpsons Movie, The Bourne Ultimatum or (sigh) Rush Hour 3, I have a feeling that this is one of those movies that will have some serious legs. Everything else that is of a similar price will either be outperformed by Stardust, or is opening too late to make as much of a difference. Will it make the $71 million Fantasy Moguls is predicting? I think it will. I think it might even tickle the high 80s, and bring in a few Top 5 points as well. And as an afterthought, I think it would be remiss of me not to point out that De Niro's character's name is Captain Shakespeare. How can you go wrong? (Wink.)

Finally, we come to Rocket Science, a film that is opening in New York and Los Angeles on Aug. 10, after which it will trickle down to a few other cities in successive weeks. This eclectic little film tells the story of Hal Hefner (played by Reece Thompson), a boy with a terrible stuttering problem and a, shall we say, below-average home life, who is talked into joining his school's debate team by Ginny (Anna Kendrick). As Hal attempts to cope with his speech impediment while simultaneously trying to get close to Ginny, hilarity ensues.

Despite its simplicity, this film is very fast-paced, and the acting performances have been described as "award-worthy." Filmed predominately in the Baltimore area in late 2005, Science effectively balances normalcy with weirdness, with enough crisp dialogue and quirky supporting characters (including Jonah Hill, who I swear is everywhere these days) to make this an extremely enjoyable watching experience. And as a bonus, anyone who fondly remembers alternative band The Violent Femmes will be pleasantly surprised, as their music is all over the place here.

The current forecast for Science is: $5 million in box office, five PTA points, and 7.5 in User Ratings. From what I've read, this film certainly deserves those numbers, but regrettably, its current IMDb ranking of 6.3 seems to belie them. It may win awards, but I doubt it'll do much to help you win your league. For the $18 you might spend on it, you could probably come away with much better numbers by picking The Invasion, In the Valley of Elah, or possibly even Eastern Promises.

Well, that's about all the time I have for today. Special thanks once again to Chienfantome, whose brain I hope to be picking quite a bit in the future. (Seriously, 4-5 movies a week? Dude, I either envy you or am mystified by you, I haven't decided which.) Tune in again next week, when I preview the weekend of Aug. 17 (which is also my birthday, yay!) with a whole horde of new films, including: much-anticipated kegger flick Superbad, Christina Ricci's "Ugly Duckling"-ish romantic fantasy Penelope, black comedy Death at a Funeral, as well as The Invasion, a sci-fi/horror flick starring the almost-always-appealing Nicole Kidman.

And finally, just to fulfill my editor's prophecy from last week: "If a picture paints a thousand words/then why do mine always come out blurry?" (That is how the song goes, right?) Am I "wit it" now? (The Pop Culture Pantheon responds: No. But keep trying.)

ARMC! (Au revoir, mon confreres!)

Shrykespeare forgot to mention Instinct, Chill Factor, Men of Honor and Radio, although we'll give him (and Cuba) a mulligan on Pearl Harbor, since that one probably seemed like a half-decent idea at the time. Share your own insights about the post-Oscar cinematic shenanigans of Tre Styles at shrykespeare@gmail.com.