For the very last time, I will remind those of you who are not currently signed up for one or more of the just created First Annual Fantasy Moguls Super Leagues to please consider entering. The response has been just overwhelming, and there are now between 60 and 100 in each of the four tournaments. Cloverfield hits theaters in just a few days, and after Friday, it will be inaccessible to any who haven't entered. But more importantly for that, the deadline for the league's closure is Jan. 21, which is next Monday. So, if you are the kind who habitually waits until the last minute, well ... we are there.  But for now, I will carry on with my usual format by breaking down the films opening on the very first day of February, including a horror/thriller, a couple of comedies, and a film that has every girl under the legal voting age salivating. So, on we go!

If the lackluster response to last November's Awake can be used as a point of reference, it's that Jessica Alba, for all her ... uh, strengths, is not at that point in her career where she is taken seriously as a dramatic actor. I mean, pretty much every film she's appeared in that DIDN'T showcase her in a bikini, a stripper's outfit or skintight spandex has pretty much failed to draw a crowd (and sometimes, even then). Just like I did a few months ago, I will give her credit for taking roles where she isn't just eye candy (no pun intended), but consider, most of what she's done just isn't that good. There's just no other way to say it: only Sin City has managed a User Rating over seven (with an 8.4), but that was much more of an ensemble piece than a vehicle for her.

Which is why The Eye is probably not going to make a splash. Of course, I'm going to temper that argument with the fact that it is just about the only real "horror" film of the month (not including The Signal, which is only getting a limited release, and also not including The Hottie & the Nottie, because ... well, because, dear God, can we please just not include that abomination in any way, anywhere?). This makes an incredible (and, may I say, welcome) change from one year ago, when it seemed that a new slash-'em-up was being released every single week, each one worse than the last.

Hmm, what's that? Oh yeah, the plot! Sorry. Jessica plays the role of Sydney, a young blind woman who receives an eye transplant, which not only restores her sight but also gives her the rather unwelcome ability to see into the eerie supernatural world. A remake of the Hong Kong film Jian Gui, this film is directed by David Moreau and Xavier Palud (Them), and co-stars Parker Posey (Superman Returns), Alessandro Nivola (Face/Off) and Rachel Ticotin (Man On Fire). The trailer features plenty of The Grudge-like effects and numerous jump-out-at-you scares, but I don't believe this will translate to big bucks.

This film does have an outside shot at No. 3 on its opening weekend (I have to believe that at least two films out of the trio of Cloverfield, Rambo and Hannah Montana will do better) depending on its reviews and buzz, but I think it will disappear pretty quickly after that. Significantly overpriced at $20 in the new Ultimate Movie Moguls leagues ($19 in Box Office Moguls), this movie will probably not nab you the seven Top 5 points, three PTA points, or even the $45 million that Fantasy Moguls has predicted. And even if it does, that's still not a high enough success-to-failure ratio to justify choosing it.

As much as I love turning a clever phrase for humorous purposes, I'm going to borrow from an outside source in describing pretty much all that needs to be said about Over Her Dead Body, a romantic comedy starring Desperate Housewives mainstay Eva Longoria as Kate, a woman unfortunate enough to perish just before marrying her sweetheart (Paul Rudd). Ah, but death, it seems, cannot stop true love, which is why she returns as a ghost, pulling out all the stops to sabotage her ex-fiance's burgeoning relationship with a psychic (Lake Bell).

The quote I mentioned comes from the "The Buzz" paragraph on IMDb, and it mirrors perfectly how I personally feel about this film's chances: "Just Like Heaven flopped. As did My Super Ex-Girlfriend. But the guy who wrote John Tucker Must Die (Jeff Lowell) somehow got this script greenlit, and he's making his directorial bow with this otherworldly romantic comedy. However, we still think the target demographic here doesn't exist; it's a mere figment of Hollywood's imagination." Or, so it would seem, New Line's Cinema's, a studio whose recent track record for marketing its films has not been stellar of late. (The Golden Compass, anyone?)

This borderline cure for boredom will run you $12 in Box Office, which would seem like a good pick if you think it's going to come anywhere near the $31 million Fantasy Moguls has projected. I, personally, don't, and I wouldn't fork over $8 for it in Ultimate, either, as I'd wage that User Ratings are going to take a serious digger. 7.1? I don't think so, not hardly ... this film more closely resembles Ghost Dad than Ghost. Give it a miss.

For those of you who are not teenage girls or a parent of same, you may not know all that much about the mega-popular Disney Channel show Hannah Montana. This show (which has become a juggernaut in the area of girlie merchandising) debuted in March of 2006, focusing on the central character Miley Stewart (played by actress Miley Cyrus, who is the daughter of country singer Billy Ray Cyrus), who lives a double life as an average high schooler by day and a famous pop singer named Hannah Montana at night. Other than her close friends and family, no one apparently knows her secret. It took very little research on my part to find out that this character became an empire unto itself in very little time, and you'd be hard-pressed to find a hotter ticket anywhere.

Obviously knowing what they had, Disney arranged for the show to be taken on tour — which has been made into its own film, called Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: The Best of Both Worlds Tour — and the response has been HUGE. Tickets have sold out for every single concert, and some tickets have been scalped for thousands of dollars. Yes, you read that correct. And here's a little twist: this film will be in theaters for EXACTLY SEVEN DAYS, from Feb. 1-7, and that's it. Most theaters that will be showing this film have already sold out most of its screenings, most of which will be shown in 3-D.

This film has been given the unbelievably low price of $4 in the January Ultimate leagues ($15 in Box Office), with projected receipts of $36 million and a 5.0 User Rating. Well, I daresay this film is a shoo-in to bring in five PTA points in its only weekend, and depending on the number of actual screens that end up showing it, it could bring in a lot more money. Ratings may not be very good, given that its target demographic is not part of the usual pool of IMDb film raters, but I think that this is the bargain of the entire season. $4? That is a steal.

Fred Wolf's past work as a screen writer has ... not been all that stellar, if you think about it. Penning the scripts for David Spade vehicles Black Sheep, Joe Dirt and Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star (as well as the sorry Norm McDonald outing Dirty Work), it would seem that for his latest attempt at a breakout comedy, Strange Wilderness, he's borrowing from the casting pools from Happy Madison Pictures (Allen Covert, playing a character named, ahem, Fred Wolf) and Judd Apatow (Justin Long and Jonah Hill). These somewhat-bankable actors will join the almost-always-funny Steve Zahn as the primary creators of a wild animal-themed TV show.

Unfortunately (probably due to the fact that their sum total of knowledge about animals doesn't seem to extend beyond Wikipedia), their show's ratings have plummeted and they are facing imminent cancellation, so they decide to venture into the wild to score some footage of the legendary Bigfoot. Umm ... yeah, good luck with that. Anyway, if you like silly stoner comedies, you'll probably like this. I think it will draw mostly males in the 18-29 range, which, depending on its release size, could make it a modest-sized hit. Hell, if Balls of Fury could make $30 million ...

Wilderness is expected to bring in only one Top 5 point, and I think it'll be lucky to get that. User Ratings in the mid-5s sound about right, so, at $5 in Ultimate leagues, pick this film only if you need a cheap source of Box Office dollars. (Hell, I've already blown a few bucks, in various leagues, on The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything and In the Name of the King, to no avail, maybe you'll have better luck with this one.) If this film can squeeze out $30 million, I might consider spending the $11 Fantasy Moguls is asking in the Box Office leagues, but consider, February is rife with all kinds of comedies (desirable or otherwise): Over Her Dead Body, Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show, Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins, The H----e & the N----e, Definitely Maybe, Be Kind Rewind, Charlie Bartlett, Witless Protection and Semi-Pro. It's going to take something with some serious comedic muscle to stand out from the crowd.

Well, that's about all I have for you today. Please return next Wednesday when I'll be looking at three more February flicks that may (or may not) help thaw out your slates in time for spring: Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson play a bickering couple hoping to revive their waning marriage by searching for sunken treasure in Fool's Gold; Martin Lawrence plays a talk-show host who returns to his roots in the Deep South in Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins; and I'll also "jump" ahead to Valentine's day to talk about, you guessed it, Jumper, in which Hayden Christensen plays a man who has the power to teleport anywhere he chooses, and Samuel L. Jackson, boldly forging an entirely fresh screen persona for himself, plays the badass mutha hell-bent on curtailing his activities. Should be fun!

TTFN!

Now that Shrykespeare has admitted to owning a movie directed by Uwe Boll in at least one league, it's OK to come forward and admit your own lapses in judgment. Confess your Fantasy Moguls sins to shrykespeare42@gmail.com.