This week, I have something truly rare to talk about: films opening on the date of Feb. 29. I would assume that everyone knows that 2008 is a leap year, and that this particular date only appears on the calendar only every fourth year. But when exactly was the last time that Feb. 29 was on a Friday? Well, I'll tell you. (He's going to tell! He's going to tell!) It was 1980. Yes, it was that long ago. And, from what research I've done, the only film to be released on THAT particular date was Adrian Lyne's Foxes, which featured an 18-year-old Scott Baio and a 17-year-old Jodie Foster as the main characters in a film about coming of age, along with endless drinking, drugs and sex. Sounds like fun. (And just to make you feel either really old or really young, it came out the same month as American Gigolo, The Fog and Jaws 2, and the month before Coal Miner's Daughter, Little Darlings and, believe it or not, Mad Max.

But enough reminiscing; what does this Feb. 29 have to offer? Well, we've got a historical romantic drama, a modern-day romantic fairy-tale, and the latest in a string of Will Ferrell sports send-ups. (Note: I said last week that I would also be reviewing Sarah Michelle Gellar's Possession, but that has now been postponed to an unspecified spring date.) Carrying my dessert metaphor one step further, there is no small amount of sugar to be found in any of these choices ... but will they satisfy your sweet tooth or simply give you a sugar rush resulting in a very inauspicious crash? Let's talk about it.

In the last three years, former SNL alum Will Ferrell has focused heavily on sports comedies. After failing to score a goal with Kicking and Screaming, he drove a victory lap in Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby and pulled off a box-office triple axel in last year's Blades of Glory, playing pretty much the same characters every time: loud, obnoxious, crass, imbecilic, nymphomaniacal, misogynistic twits. But hey, that's his thing, and if it ain't broke, why fix it? Those who love Will for Will will (yeesh) no doubt flock to see Semi-Pro in droves. Set in the premier decade for misogyny, the 1970s, the movie has Ferrell as Jackie Moon, one of the star players for the Flint (Mich.) Tropics of the now-defunct ABA.

Known more for his oddball theatrics and crowd-pleasing antics than for his actual basketball ability, Jackie is horrified to learn that the ABA will be merging with the expanding NBA at the end of the current season ... but that his beloved Tropics will not be one of the teams going to the big show. After convincing the league's owners that it is the four "best" teams that should be invited, he must find a way to pull his team of loveable losers, currently mired in last place, into contention.

Directed by first-timer Kent Alterman and co-starring Andy Richter, Maura Tierney, Outkast's Andre Benjamin and Woody Harrelson (think they'll throw a White Men Can't Jump reference in there somewhere?), this film will be mostly be running plays for Ferrell, perhaps the surest of sure things as far as comedic actors working today. Anyone hoping to see lots of crazy s—t (like wrestling with a full-sized grizzly bear, for example), with subtle-as-a-train-wreck sexual innuendo and childish behavior is probably going to get their money's worth.

I, personally, am not the biggest fan of the guy, but there's no doubt that he knows how to draw an audience. Whether there is a feel-good ending tacked on will probably not matter, as the Ferrell spectacle is what most moviegoers are paying to see. And speaking of paying, I hope you're prepared to do a lot of it if you want this film on your roster, as it is the most expensive choice in the entire February season. Namely, it will run you $37 in Ultimate Movie Moguls, and a whopping $43 in Box Office Moguls. Which then begs the next question: How well does this movie have to do to be a solid pick? $100 million? $150? $200? Well, if you're hoping for $200 million, I think you'll be disappointed. Ferrell is very good at turning brainless entertainment into blockbusters, but I don't think it'll do THAT well.

Of course, there are only two films, in my opinion, in all of March that have high-dollar potential: 10,000 B.C. and Horton Hears a Who. Nothing else will fly high enough to give Semi-Pro serious competition until at least its fourth week, by which time I expect it to have racked up roughly 12 Top 5 points, five PTA points, a User Rating in the low 6s and well over $100 million. Which is good, don't get me wrong ... but picking the most expensive property is always, by definition, the biggest gamble. No matter how well it does, you can always make more economical picks. Of course, if you're convinced that you can't win without it, then it will probably do at least as well as Fantasy Moguls thinks it will (6 PTA, 9 Top 5, 6.6, $100M), so take solace in that. Or you can wait until late July, when Step Brothers hits theaters.

What do you get when you take a classic fairy tale like, for example "The Frog Prince" or "The Ugly Duckling," and marry it to the concept of modern-day celebrity, complete with flashing cameras and persistent paparazzi? Well, you might get something like Penelope, starring Christina Ricci in the title role as the daughter of an aristocrat who falls under a gypsy's curse. (God, don't'cha just hate when that happens?) She's given the nose of a pig, a hex that cannot be broken until she finds her "one true love."

Unfortunately, every suitor that mom and dad (Richard E. Grant, Catherine O'Hara) bring to court her tucks tail and runs at the sight of her uncomely schnozz ... until one final rejection by Max (played by BAFTA Best Actor also-ran James McAvoy) prompts Penelope to run away and see some of the world that she's been sheltered from her entire life. In the process, she becomes a media darling and a celebrity in her own right. Oscar winner Reese Witherspoon co-stars as Annie, a free-spirited woman who helps her get acclimated to public life.

I have to say, I really like the pairing of Witherspoon and Ricci. Both of them, when you think about it, practically grew up taking roles in very offbeat movies, and to see them finally paired up is very refreshing. And even though it's being directed by a relative newcomer (Mark Palansky), I think this film could, given a high enough screen count, be the sleeper hit of the spring.

Logic must, however,  at some point intervene. It will be given a wide release, but probably not on more than 2,000 screens, which means that finishing out of the Top 5 on its opening weekend is quite likely. PTA points could accrue, but probably won't. Its current User Rating is a very respectable 8.1 (after over 900 votes), so there's that. Fantasy Moguls predicts only $11 million for its total take, but if Summit Entertainment starts mass-marketing it (and I mean soon), it could go much higher. Watch the airwaves for signs, and that'll probably tell you whether it's worth the $11 in Ultimate leagues. For $4 in Box Office, I have to say, this is a huge bargain. And, I might add, I am a sucker for a sweet story like this.

As the old song goes, "Don't know much about history ... " (Surely you all remember the old song. And even if you don't, you at least remember it from Harrison Ford in Witness, right? Remember Witness? Hello? Anybody? Bueller? Is this thing on?) Anyway, truer words were never spoken. All I remember from 8th-grade about Henry VIII is that, apparently, he tried, time and again, to sire a son. Also that he had no luck, despite being married to no fewer than six different women. (The women who had the audacity to bear him a daughter instead were dealt with rather ... sharply, shall we say.) Stories about those relationships have been made into many films and made-for-TV movies, and the latest is The Other Boleyn Girl, which features the enigmatic Eric Bana as Henry VIII.

Now, for those of you who are Bana fans (yes, both of you), you'll be glad to know that this film also features perhaps two of the most sought-after, under-25 actresses in Hollywood: Scarlet Johansson and Natalie Portman, whose resume is more impressive than Bana's by leaps and bounds. But will even that be enough to bring skeptical moviegoers to this period piece? Well ...

Considering that the screenplay was written by Peter Morgan, who scored enormous success with The Queen and The Last King of Scotland, I'd say it's at least a possibility. Directed by Justin Chadwick, who is currently a well-respected helmer in the realm of British TV, and based on the best-selling novel by Philippa Gregory, The Other Boleyn Girl tells the story of how sisters Anne (Portman) and Mary (Johansson) Boleyn both vied for the affections of the famous (or, rather, infamous) English king, with dire consequences for all concerned.

I am of two minds on this film. Firstly, it's hard to ignore the recent failure of Elizabeth: The Golden Age which was drew a critically mixed response even though it did secure an Oscar nomination for Cate Blanchett. Secondly, you have Bana, who, despite high-profile roles in The Hulk, Munich and Troy, as well as last summer's mega-flop Lucky You, has yet to convince me that he has the ability to be a true leading man. On the other hand, this film, if the trailer is any indication, will focus more on Portman and Johansson, and that is a very good thing indeed. Both are staunch actresses with proven resumes, and it is them, not Bana, who will draw crowds to theaters.

And yet, no matter how you slice it, I don't believe that this film is worth the $18 you'd pay for it in the Ultimate leagues (and barely worth its $12 grocer's bill in Box Office). This isn't the right time of year to be releasing high-drama historical romances, and it will take a truckload of positive reviews and a mess of hype to even make a dent. Depending on how well Jumper, The Spiderwick Chronicles and Vantage Point are doing in their third and second weeks, this film may be hard-pressed to make the Top 5 at all. PTA won't happen either, unless it gets a limited initial release, but I've seen no signs of that being the case. User Ratings will likely be quite high, say in the high 7s to low 8s, and dollars grossed is a total crap-shoot. It won't appeal much to the under-30 crowd (its good-looking cast notwithstanding), and there are better PTA choices that you could make for the same amount of money.

Postponements: To all those not in the know, The Accidental Husband, Amusement and, as I mentioned earlier, Possession have been pulled from their current slots. They've all either been given new dates in summer or later, or not given new dates at all. So, if you happen to have any of these titles on your roster, you would do well to replace them.

Well, that will wrap it up for me for another week. Please return next week, when I will be starting off the month of March with three more films scheduled for release on March 7. Martin Lawrence ("What, again? So soon?") plays an over-protective father who accompanies his overachieving daughter when she decides to travel across the country to choose her next academic venue in College Road Trip; Jason Statham and Saffron Burrows team up to re-create the true story of one of the biggest heists in British history in The Bank Job; and Roland Emmerich attempts to follow up such memorable epics as Stargate, Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow by going way, WAY back in time to the age of woolly mammoths and saber-toothed tigers in 10,000 B.C.

TTFN!

Shrykespeare is still on his first wife, but no male heir yet. If something doesn't change soon, then he's planning to toss Paul Scofield in the slammer and marry Vanessa Redgrave. If you advise a different course of action, approach his royal presence at shrykespeare42@gmail.com.