SATURDAY NIGHT: There was no Saturday miracle for New Line's Will Ferrell comedy Semi-Pro. The R-rated comedy managed only a 10 percent bump for an estimated $6.1 million. The tepidly-reviewed comedy will finish its opening weekend with a disastrous $15.16 million, as New Line goes out with a whimper, not a bang. Semi-Pro is only the eighth-best opening of Ferrell's career (scroll down to my Friday report for a complete list of the All-Time Top 10 Live-Action Will Ferrell Openings).

Hello to you all, and welcome to the latest Dances with the Arthouse. Now, I know we're still in the midst of post-Oscars reflections like, "Maybe it's time I catch There Will Be Blood," or "I didn't think No Country For Old Men was THAT good," or even "Into the Wild and The Assassination of Jesse James should have gotten waaaay more recognition." Some of you probably feared that I might start showing off with some chauvinistic exclamations following Marion Cotillard's Oscar ... but I won't give you that pleasure. (Maybe if I thought La Vie en Rose was a great film — but I don't). It's interesting, though, to note that none of the winners in the acting categories are Americans. British, French, Spanish, that's it.

The new '70s-style basketball comedy Semi-Pro (New Line) appears to be the equivalent of a slam dunk at America’s box offices this weekend. The past few years have featured other Will Ferrell vehicles set in variety of sports, including Kicking and Screaming ($20.1 million opening), about soccer; Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby ($47 million opening), set in the high-stakes world of NASCAR; and Blades of Glory ($33 million opening), with a focus on figure skating. Now, the former SNL star has turned his attentions to professional basketball.

Hello there all, and welcome once again to Bard's Eye View, the place to come for tips on scouting out the best deals possible on upcoming wide-release films. Not unlike purchasing a new car, picking movies can be extremely tricky. You may be attracted to a snazzy-looking vehicle that looks great and road-tests like a dream, but truthfully it would eat you alive in insurance and upkeep costs ... so you instead opt for a car that may not get the girls' attention, but will get you from Point A to Point B. Whether you are purchasing your very first automobile or whether you are looking to trade in that old jalopy of yours for something a little less offensive-looking, I bid you welcome. Let's kick the tires with authority, and see how fast we can get this puppy up to 90! (Wink.)

Greetings, Moguls! I apologize for the delay in writing this Tip of the Week — what necessitated going two weeks between columns was increased demand for my superhero services. See, my help was needed to save a city from mortal peril ... or at least, from massive amounts of snow. Snow seems like a small problem, sure, but so much of it accumulated over the past week-and-a-half that the city declared a snow emergency! And hence, here I was, drawn into the picture, lending my heroic efforts so that the metropolis might emerge from the blanketed snow and be able to function once again.

BEST PICTURE
Mase's Pick: No Country For Old Men
Winner: No Country For Old Men
Overall Batting Average: 1.000
ANALYSIS : Although I can create scenarios in my imagination where No Country For Old Men fails here, they seem farfetched. The picture has strength in all of the Academy's branches winning guild awards from the actors, the directors and the writers, and it has been lauded by critics, almost unanimously. As Ken Turan has pointed out in the Los Angeles Times, giving the Best Picture Oscar to George Clooney would be like Hollywood giving the award to itself as it is the only film to come from the heart of the studio system, but this is a longshot. Older Academy members may be drawn to vote for the old-fashioned Atonement and younger voters may support Juno, but this is the year that the Coen Brothers finally receive their due.

SATURDAY NIGHT: Sony may not have a serious Oscar contender at tomorrow night's 80th Annual Academy Awards at the Kodak Theatre, but they still have a big winner this weekend. Vantage Point, which some have compared to Akira Kurosawa's Rashomon, received a nice 22 percent Saturday bounce from its opening day, adding another $9.76 million. The Oscars telecast makes Sunday tougher than usual to project, but I'm calling for a 38 percent drop. That would give the Pete Travis-directed assassination thriller a better-than-expected $23.8 million weekend.

An odd mix of films arrive in theaters for Oscar weekend. The big title is clearly Vantage Point (Sony), opening on 3,000-plus screens. Also waiting in the wings are Michel Gondry's Be Kind Rewind (New Line), starring Jack Black and Mos Def, which will bow at 800 or so locations; alleged comedy Witless Protection (Lionsgate), starring redneck icon Larry the Cable Guy, on about 1,300 screens; and MGM's long-delayed Charlie Bartlett, on 1,100-plus. All that, and National Geographic will expand the spectacular U2 3D to 678 3D-equipped houses.

Ladies and gentlemen, film lovers, film eaters and film watchers, welcome to the latest edition of Dances with the Arthouse, the place to come to ... no, wait ... that sounds too much like a Shrykespeare introduction, and I refuse to steal my friend's thunder. I must find my own path, my own style, even if some people don't like it. Who cares, it's too late now, I already defended Jean-Pierre Jeunet's Alien: Resurrection in the forums the other day, claiming it was a better film than James Cameron's Aliens. Now I'm on a Wanted List. (Grin.)

SATURDAY NIGHT: Doug Liman's Jumper (Fox) received a nice 27 percent Saturday surge, adding just over $11 million for a new three-day cume of $26.37 million. With a projected $8 million or so on Sunday and another $4.19 million on President's Day, the tepidly-reviewed Hayden Christensen sci-fi action movie will finish with a five-day of $38.63 million — more than enough to win the competitive frame.