It's interesting to note that 2008, as a consequence of the much-publicized writers' strike, was supposed to be breaking all kinds of records at this point. Yes, I know we're only two months in, and therefore it's too early to be forecasting doom and gloom, but consider: Four films have already opened this year that some pundits (including myself, though not in every case) predicted would crash through the $100 million barrier: Cloverfield, Jumper, The Spiderwick Chronicles and now Semi-Pro.

February and March of 2007 produced no less than four blockbusters: Ghost Rider ($115.8 million), 300 ($210.6 million), Wild Hogs ($168.2 million) and Blades of Glory ($118.2 million). So what will finally break the streak of indifference to become 2008's first nine-digit earner? Will it be 10,000 B.C., which I previewed last week? Though Warner Bros. is marketing it out the wazoo, most people I've read and listened to don't seem all that interested. It is still possible, though unlikely. College Road Trip could theoretically break through, given that it is a Disney flick. However, I maintain that Martin Lawrence is not half as family-friendly as The Rock is, and even The Game Plan just barely cracked $90 million.

Well, if there is one (and only one) film left on the pre-May docket that has a snowball's chance of attaining blockbuster status, it has to be Horton Hears a Who (March 14), the latest animated venture from 20th Century Fox's Blue Sky Studios. To refresh your memory, this is the same unit that brought us 2002 monster Ice Age, which rode a $46 million opening weekend in March of that year all the way to a whopping $176 million in total receipts, as well as its sequel, Ice Age: The Meltdown, which turned an incredible $68 million opening weekend on April 2, 2006 into $195 million overall. They also didn't do too shabbily with Robots in 2005.

In this story, an adaptation of the classic children's book by Dr. Seuss, an elephant named Horton (voiced by Jim Carrey), hears what he believes are voices coming from a minute speck of dust that is perched on a nearby flower. Thanks to his exceptional hearing, he learns that the speck is, in fact, an entire world, inhabited by a people known as the Whos. Eventually making actual contact with the Mayor of Who-ville (Steve Carell), he vows to protect this tiniest of ecosystems from harm, despite the fact that no one else seems to believe Horton's claim.

This is the first time since Bruce Almighty in 2003 that Carrey and Carell have teamed up, and while Carrey's career has hit a bit of a dry spell (producing only the lukewarm Fun With Dick and Jane and the disastrous The Number 23 in the last three years), Carell is definitely on the rise. Thanks in great part to his role on the enormously popular TV show The Office, as well as his subsequent roles in the surprise hit Dan in Real Life and summer mega-budget films like last year's Evan Almighty and the upcoming Get Smart.

Of course, this is a kids' movie, and when it comes to animated movies, most kids couldn't care less who play the voices of the characters, as long as it's entertaining. But the names of Carrey and Carell will bring adults to the theaters as well, because that much comedy muscle just can't be ignored. And as if that wasn't enough, you've also got recognizable names like Amy Poehler, Will Arnett, Dane Cook, Isla Fisher, Jaime Pressley, Jonah Hill, Seth Rogen, Dane Cook and the legendary Carol Burnett adding their talents to the voice pool as well

Just like with Carrey's previous Dr. Seuss adaptation, the live-action How the Grinch Stole Christmas, which pounded out an amazing $260 million back in late 2000, I expect this is the type of movie that kids will flock to see ... numerous times. Bottom line: Nothing, and I mean nothing, looks like it has mega-potential for the six weeks following the release of this film. I expect a good long dry spell all the way to May, when Iron Man ushers in the beginning of the summer season.

Fantasy Moguls predicts Horton will pull in six PTA points, ten Top 5 points, a measly 5.8 User Rating and a paltry $67 million in total box office. I've been wrong before, folks, but I find these numbers laughably insufficient. This film will obviously win its weekend, and possibly the following weekend as well (I really doubt that Drillbit Taylor and Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns will have the mustard to outpace it), and I think it could spend as many as four weeks in the Top 5. I predict 14 Top 5 points, let's say seven PTA, a User Rating at least a point higher than advertised, and no less than $130 million in receipts, or double the predicted amount. Blue Sky Studios ain't Pixar, but they ain't New Line either.

Priced at a ridiculously low $23 in the March Ultimate Movie Moguls leagues (and even more miniscule $20 in Box Office Moguls), this IS the biggest bargain of the entire season. Didn't pick Semi-Pro? Good for you. Don't like the look of 10,000 B.C.? Don't half blame ya. But you're going to need one bona fide moneymaker to win, or at least do well in, your leagues, and unless you feel comfortable spending more than $50 on Iron Man, Speed Racer or The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (which I never will; I learned that particular lesson the hard way), this is your only option. You can easily fit this along with, say, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull just fine on your slate. And it won't hurt you. I promise!

Two decades ago, Ralph Macchio became a sensation with the 21-and-under crowd with his Karate Kid series. In the first film, his bullied outsider Danny Larusso is taught, through a series of unconventional lessons, the art and spiritual nature of karate by the wise Mr. Miyagi (Pat Morita), after which he overcomes his fear and triumphs over the much larger, meaner, hissably evil gang from the local dojo.

On paper, one might think that Never Back Down (March 14) was simply a fistful of similar plot threads re-sewn for a new generation. After watching the trailer, however, it seems to be less an uplifting, family-friendly teen underdog story and more like The Fast and the Furious (without the vehicles). Even though it's rated PG-13, which seems to indicate that the violence will be toned-down and the sex and language will remain at an appropriate level, I can't see this playing to anyone much younger than 16 and much older than 30. That's a considerable audience, but I doubt there will be much repeat business.

Jake Tyler (Sean Faris) is your typical rebellious teen who, after being lured into a underground, full-contact kickboxing club, runs afoul of the local hotshot (Cam Gigandet of The O.C.), who promptly stomps the crap out of him. Not willing to let the bad guy get the best of him, Jake seeks the advice of a trainer (Djimon Hounsou), who teaches him to turn his frustration into victory. At least, I assume it's victory, since that's how these movies always end ...

For whatever reason, this film is not available in the new March Ultimate leagues, and in the Box Office leagues it will run you only $2, which makes a pretty darn good bargain. I wouldn't expect this film to pull in much more than $15 million total, but that's still pretty cost-effective in my book. It should certainly free up some of your budget to go after the bigger fish.

Moving on to the weekend of March 21, we'll start with another film about high-school students being tormented by a bully. Instead of learning martial arts, however, they pool their piggy banks to hire a bodyguard, played by troubled comedic star Owen Wilson, making his first on-screen appearance since his much-publicized suicide attempt last year. In Drillbit Taylor (March 21), Wilson seeks to not only protect his nerdy charges, but teach them the finer points of self-defense — hopefully leaving them none the wiser that his superior fighting skills exist only in his mind.

Before you dismiss this film as just another low-grade comedy destined to share the fate of recent flops like Strange Wilderness, Over Her Dead Body and now Semi-Pro, consider that this film's script was penned by legendary teen-movie director John Hughes, developed by current Hollywood golden boy Judd Apatow, and handed over to the very hot Seth Rogen (in terms of his popularity, that is), before finally landing in the lap of director Steven Brill (Mr. Deeds, Without a Paddle). That's a lot of fingerprints, to be sure, but I believe that it will translate into at least modest success.

The kids in question (Alex Frost and Josh Peck), look like they could be the little brothers of Jonah Hill and Michael Cera from last year's Superbad, and I think that, given the success of semi-raunchy teen comedies of late, Drillbit Taylor will make at least a decent showing. Fantasy Moguls predicts it will do three Top 5 points, which is viable, given that it has a shot at No. 3 on its opening weekend. Two PTA may happen (but I wouldn't count on it), and the predicted rating of 5.9 and the box office output of $31 million seem about right, but don't be surprised if it steams its way past $50.

Remember about 10, 15 years ago when it seemed that Stephen King was cranking out a new 1,000-page novel every six months? That's about the only parallel I can find to match the proliferation of films brought to us in recent years by actor/writer/director Tyler Perry. Just six months ago, Why Did I Get Married? graced our theaters; six months before that, we had Daddy's Little Girls, and before that ... ah, you get my point. One thing they all seem to have in common is that they are well-written, well-acted family comedy-dramas, and are very popular with the African-American demographic.

So if your well of longing for Mr. Perry hasn't run dry, you may want to check out Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns (March 21), starring the very talented Angela Bassett as Brenda, an inner-city single mother who has fallen on hard times. Upon hearing of the death of her father, a man she never met, she decides to take her three kids (one teenage son and two small daughters) to Georgia for his funeral. At first, the close-knit Brown clan is hesitant to welcome Brenda into their midst, but after a time, they connect in a way that is sure to be heart-warming and self-reassuring for all those watching.

Depending on its theater count, it seems a safe bet to put the total output for Meet the Browns in the $35-$65 million range. It could go as high as No. 2 on its opening weekend (if 10,000 B.C. out-and-out bombs), and look for a few PTA points as well. I hardly need mention that User Ratings will be awful no matter how good the reviews are. For $18 in the Ultimate leagues, you could certainly do a lot worse, and for $14 in the Box Office, you could have a real gold mine on your hands.

Cheap horror movies are always a gamble, given the pounding that genre has taken in the past couple of years, but you may want to look into obtaining Shutter (March 21) for one or more of your spring slates. Like several others, it has the potential to bring you reasonable dividends for almost no money. Available for $2 in all Ultimate leagues, and ranging from $5 to $8 in Box Office leagues, this remake of a Thai (yes, that's right, Thai, not Japanese) horror film in which a young couple (Dawson's Creek's Joshua Jackson and Transformers co-star Rachael Taylor) discovers, following a devastating accident, ghostly images in photos that they develop while they are honeymooning in Tokyo, images that take on a horrifying significance when the people in those photographs die mysteriously not long afterward.

Filmed entirely in Tokyo, directed by Japanese director Masayuki Ochiai and executive produced by the guys who brought you The Grudge and The Ring, Shutter is, interestingly enough, rated PG-13 for "terror, disturbing images, sexual content and language." Sounds like fun. I won't lie to you and tell you that this is going to be a huge hit, or even a medium-sized one, but if you're looking for a viable eighth title for your Ultimate slates, this is probably one that you want to consider.

Well, that will do it for me for another week. Please return next week when I will be closing out March with four more films scheduled for release on the final Friday of the month; Kevin Spacey recruits six M.I.T. math whiz types for the purpose of winning big at the blackjack tables in 21; Ryan Phillippe plays a soldier who refuses to go back to Iraq despite the government's order for him to do so in MTV Films's Stop Loss; Drake Bell dons Tobey Maguire's tights in Hollywood's latest spoof, the aptly-titled Superhero Movie; and Simon Pegg attempts to whip his chubby behind into shape in order to win back his long-lost girlfriend in Run, Fat Boy, Run.

TTFN!

Shrykespeare-san tried "wax on, wax off" the last time he was in a bar fight, but it's not as effective against a broken-off bottleneck as it is against a karate punch. Also, he hadn't brushed up on his rhythm by polishing two dozen vintage autos. Send your own hard-luck stories of using the crane kick to shrykespeare42@gmail.com.