Now, I'm not much of a dancer, but I remember being incredibly gleeful three years ago when I found out that they were making full-scale adaptations of C.S. Lewis's classic The Chronicles of Narnia series of books, for they were the one series that I enjoyed possibly as much as J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings. And since THAT trilogy of films had already come and gone, I was so very happy at the prospect of seeing The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe brought to full-screen grandeur. It bowed in December of 2005, and it did not disappoint. It scored over $65 million on its opening weekend, ballooning to just under $300 million after a very healthy five-month run in theaters. It turned out to be my very favorite film of 2005, just barely beating out Batman Begins, the sequel to which hits movie houses everywhere a mere two months from now.

To put it mildly, I have very high hopes for the second part of this series, The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (May 16). Not only are the four young actors and actresses who play the central characters returning, but so is director Andrew Adamson (who, if you'll recall, also directed Shrek and Shrek 2). And I wouldn't have it any other way. Plus, the kids are all a couple of years older, a little more seasoned, and, oh yeah, big stars now.

Let me recap Part One in a nutshell: When Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy Pevensie found a magical doorway to the land of Narnia (a land inhabited by many creatures of lore, including fauns, centaurs, and talking animals) inside an old wardrobe, they joined the fight against the evil White Witch, who had kept the land in a perpetual winter for nearly a century. Fulfilling a long-held prophecy, they joined the God-like lion Aslan in a fight against the Witch's forces, eventually prevailing and taking their place as the kings and queens of Narnia. They lived there well into their adult years, but when they accidentally stumbled through the same gateway from which they entered Narnia, they reverted back to being children, and realized that no time had passed at all since they had left. Additionally, there was no way for them to get back.

Now, a year later, the vagaries of fate find a way for them to return to the land they loved, but they do so only to discover that they have come back more than 1,300 years later, as evidenced by the fact that their once-illustrious castle lies in ruins, and Narnia is under the despotic rule of a usurper named Miraz (played by Italian actor Sergio Castllitto). Miraz has swiped the throne from its rightful heir, the titular Prince Caspian (played by Ben Barnes, who had a brief role in Stardust last summer). The Pevensies must find a way to locate Aslan once more and rally an army to defeat Miraz and restore Caspian to his seat of power.

For those looking for a completely faithful adaptation of the original book, I've read that you might be disappointed. Much like the first part, there have been a few noteworthy additions to, and subtractions from, the original text, in order to make the story flow more smoothly. If the end product is as enjoyable as the original, however, I certainly won't be complaining.

And lest I fail to give undue credit where credit is due, the four young actors returning to their roles as the stalwart Pevensie children are, once again, William Moseley (as Peter), Anna Popplewell (as Susan), Skandar Keynes (as Edmund) and the still-adorable Georgie Henley (as Lucy). Liam Neeson returns as the voice of Aslan the lion, and wry English comedian Eddie Izzard plays the voice of a heroic mouse named Reepicheep, who becomes a very central character in this story and in Part Three of the series, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, the film version of which should be out in 2010. (Note: There are presently no plans to do any of the final four books in the series, but that could change if Caspian and Dawn Treader become the worldwide phenomena that Wardrobe did.)

Don't get me wrong, I am very excited to see this film. But for some reason that I can't quite put my finger on, I'm just not as stoked as I was three years ago when the first film came out. Perhaps that's because this is a Part Two. Perhaps it's because Caspian is being released in the middle of a crowded summer full of tantalizing fare, rather than in a winter season where the must-sees are less plentiful. I just don't know. I feel safe in saying, however, that this film will NOT surpass its predecessor at the ticket counters, even if it IS summer.

Last year, Shrek the Third did very well in this same approximate release slot, climbing over the $300 million mark despite being sandwiched directly between Spider-Man 3 and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (both of which also broke $300 million). Caspian is similarly sandwiched between a superhero flick and a rip-roaring adventure story, those being Iron Man and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (which I'll get to in a little bit), but I have to believe that in a year that has seen a significant drop in box-office attendance, it'll be nigh-impossible to reach $250 million. $200 is still possible, but even that may be a stretch. And it really hurts me to say that, because I want this franchise to continue to succeed, very very much.

But with Indiana Jones, a much juicier prospect, coming only six days after Caspian's release, I have to believe that Caspian will be stuck playing second fiddle to our bullwhip-wielding hero on all but its opening weekend. Iron Man will be in its third weekend by then, and the way Speed Racer is tracking, look for that to be a non-factor. Caspian and Indiana Jones are probably the two biggest fun-for-the-entire-family films of the entire summer, so they will probably both do very well. Just don't expect Caspian to win the head-to-head.

I'll leave the cost-analysis for Caspian for a little bit, but now I'm going to move on to Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (May 22 — Thursday), the long-awaited continuation of the adventures of the dashing, bullwhip-carrying, fedora-wearing, Nazi-fighting, history-probing, snake-hating archaeologist. I was just a lad of twelve when Raiders of the Lost Ark hit theaters in the summer of '81 and, for whatever reason, I chose not to go see it. (Or maybe I was grounded that year, I don't remember. Grin.) It was a historic piece of filmmaking, showcasing the collaborative uber-talents of actor Harrison Ford, director Steven Spielberg and producer (an also character creator and story collaborator) George Lucas. It remains one of the most beloved adventure films ever made, and it currently resides in the Top 20 of IMDb's highest-ranked films of all time, with a stellar 8.7.

It was followed up in later years by Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), the latter of which also featured Sean Connery as Indy's father. There have been rumors floating around Hollywood for a fourth Indy film for nigh on two decades, and, at long last, the wait is over. And even though Spielberg and Lucas, both Hollywood legends, are slipping back into their roles as director and producer/story wrangler, can Ford, now old enough to qualify for Medicare, still kick butt with verve like he did back in the day? That is the question.

Well, if John McClane can take an extended vacation and come back swinging for the fences, Indy sure can. The age range that this film will draw is absolutely monstrous: little kids and teenagers will flock to a cool-looking action/adventure that is sure to have plenty of "Wow!" moments, just as Jurassic Park or The Mummy did. And adults will gleefully accompany them to get another glimpse of one of their childhood or adolescent heroes.

What I've always admired about Harrison Ford is that he has been able to play such a diverse and varied collection of characters over the last 40 years, despite the fact that he has been immortalized not once, but twice, by playing two of the most memorable characters ever created (the other being Han Solo, of course). That is no mean feat, folks. I mean, does anyone remember Mark Hamill as anything OTHER than Luke Skywalker? But whether Ford is playing a cop, a businessman, a CIA agent, a Russian submarine commander, a doctor wrongfully accused of murder (wink), or even the President of the United States ("Get off my plane!"), he always exudes a genuineness, a gravitas that makes you believe that he IS the character he portrays, and not just pigeonholed into one easily-labeled box.

I don't actually know much about the plot of this film (and that's on purpose, folks, I figure the less I know going in, the more I'll like it), beyond what the trailer and the one-sheet tell me: Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones is called back into action when he becomes entangled in a Soviet plot to uncover the secret behind mysterious artifacts known as the crystal skulls. I've also heard rumors that there will be some kind of extra-terrestrial connection, but I really don't care to speculate.

This film also stars current Hollywood hot ticket Cate Blanchett, along with John Hurt, Ray Winstone and Jim Broadbent, as well as Ford's Raiders leading lady, Karen Allen, reprising her role as Marion Ravenwood. And, in an interesting bit of casting, Shia LaBeouf (Transformers) steps into the part of motorbike ridin' street kid "Mutt" Williams, who may or may not be Indy's son.

I look for this film to do absolutely monster numbers, folks. This is far more than a "nostalgia" piece, which is a card that many studios play in order to draw crowds, by dressing up a once-, twice-, or thrice-proven character for one last ho-hum go-round. This is three of the most respected icons Tinseltown has ever produced, coming together once again to prove to us why they earned their reputations.

In the May Ultimate Leagues, Prince Caspian is priced at $41 ($35 in Box Office), which makes it the highest-priced piece of property on the ticket. I am somewhat dubious at the prospect of shelling out that much for any one title, given that, in order to make the purchase worth the price, the movie would have to make at least $250 million, nab 15-20 Top 5 points, grab a handful of PTA, and furnish a very good User Rating. And try as I might, I just can't see that happening. Not placed where it is. In winter, maybe so, but not in mid-May. I look for it to made not much more than $200 million total, pulling in 13 Top 5, 7 PTA, and a User Rating in the mid 7s.

On the other hand, Indiana Jones has been undervalued by Fantasy Moguls ever since the March Leagues started. It has been the lowest-priced mega-blockbuster in all three leagues it appears in, and really, how can you not have it on your slate? It'll only run you $33 in the May Ultimate league, and an incomprehensible $26 in the Box Office. Fantasy Moguls predicts 13 Top 5 points (I'll say 16), 10 PTA (sounds about right), a User Rating of 6.7 (I'd say closer to 8.0), and a mere $190 million in receipts (no way, Jose, it'll beat $250 million without breaking a sweat.)

I fully expect to enjoy both of these films tremendously, but Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is the closest thing that you'll find to being a dead-bang lead-pipe cinch in these uncertain times. In its first five weeks of release, only Prince Caspian and Dreamworks's Kung Fu Panda will have a shot at taking some of it business away. This is an absolute must-have. Period.

And now, if you'll allow me, I have some things that I simply must say about a dear friend who has just recently departed the shores of the Fantaverse, not for the first time, and hopefully not for the last time either, but for a period of time that would certainly qualify as an extended leave of absence.

You know, I wish I had some kind of handle on exactly how many regular readers I have ... I used to think that it was only a few dozen, then maybe a few hundred. For all I know, it could be tens of thousands. But I know that, of that multitude, only a handful actually take the time to read, and regularly post on, the Fantasy Moguls message boards; and it is those few who had the privilege of reading, conversing and appreciating the genius of my great and good friend Richard, aka Nicodemus, known to his closest anonymous friends as "Nico." As I've explained in a recent column, it was Nico who helped get me this writing gig, something for which I'll always be grateful.

If you haven't been following the story of his life (or, more precisely, the last 12 months of it) on the Message Boards, let me sum up: he used to have his own column here, called One Month Out, but the tragic deaths, in short order, of his mother and father-in-law took their toll on him. He went off the grid for a few months, finding himself again last summer on a sailing sojourn from New England down to the Gulf Coast. When he returned again last fall, I was sure that everything would pick up right where it left off. But, sadly, that was not to be. Over the Thanksgiving holiday, he very nearly lost his 8-year-old daughter to pneumonia. Thankfully, she recovered, but only in time for his own father, who had been in failing health for the last several years from multiple strokes and Alzheimer's Disease, to take a turn for the worse. The years-long battle that Richard Sr. had fought ended, finally, in late February.

Now, this is more soul-crushing tragedy than one person should have to deal with in a lifetime, never mind in the space of one freaking calendar year. However, the most miraculous news came just after Richard buried his beloved Dad: his wife was pregnant with their second child. And when I say "miraculous," I mean it, because this was an occurrence that both he and his wife had all but written off from ever happening again.

Needless to say, active participation in a fantasy-movie website is infinitesimally small potatoes compared to this thing that we call "life on Earth," and so, just a couple of weeks ago, Richard gave his farewell speech on the Message Boards (in the thread entitled "Valedictory"). Many of us paid our respects, wishing him well for his future.

Now, I have it from his lips that he is not gone for good. Sometime in 2009, or perhaps even late this year, after the baby is born and things have settled down a bit, he will return. But it will not be under the guise of "Nicodemus" (who, in case you were wondering, is the name of the wise, wizened leader of the Rats in the 1982 film The Secret of NIMH, based on the award-winning book Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH). That persona has been, quoth Richard, "retired for good."

But before he drifts into the sunset, I want to honor him, and entertain all of you, with an excerpt from one of his 1,000-plus posts on the Message Boards. It was last September, right about the time when the brand-spanking new teaser trailer for Iron Man had come out. Somehow, as is wont to happen on the Boards, the subject of conversation skewed from Robert Downey Jr. to Quentin Tarantino ... or, more specifically, his films, including Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill. I then mentioned to Nico that I used to have a great friend named Larry, who was a staunch film-buff, and whose favorite genres were spaghetti Westerns, martial arts movies and QT. He loved Uma Thurman, he loved David Carradine and I daresay that Kill Bill would have been his perfect film (despite the absence of Godzilla, his OTHER favorite genre) had he lived to see it. Sadly, he passed away in September 2000, one month to the day before he was to serve as best man at my wedding. I mentioned this in the thread, and here was Nico's awesome, profound, beautiful, hysterical response:

"Sorry to hear about your friend. I like to believe, however, that those who precede our own entry to Heaven get to see all the great movies, ever, even those that haven't been released, shot, written or even conceived of yet, on a 100-story IMAX screen with eight billion db's and forty-dimensional Surround Sound. THX can kiss my ass, God's own Regal Cinema is the BEST. THEATRICAL. EXPERIENCE. EVER, you know what I mean? And no dippy Fanta commercials or incredibly underwhelming Coca-Cola Refreshing Filmmaker ads, no lines, no screaming babies, and no cell phones. Oh, and no mouthy teenagers either ... they go somewhere else, like Purgatory, or Hell, or the Universe's own Dumpster. The best all-beef frankfurters, EVER, ones that make Dodger Dogs look like cocktail weenies and smell like Purina Dog Chow; thick, rich mustard with seeds that stick between your teeth and irritate 'em all day long, in the most mouth-watering way possible; sautéed onions that make your knees buckle; and a double feature, all day, every day, with classic Warner Bros. cartoons and the most kick-ass trailers, ever, separating each film — like Star Wars: Epidsode III — Revenge of the Sith, The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, The Fifth Element, Superman Returns, Batman Begins and Independence Day. Oh, and reclining bucket seats that make the very best Brookstone massage chairs feel like the back seat of a 1974 Dodge Dart.

"Every seat is on the center line, and The Godfather trilogy plays every Friday night. (Truly, God is merciful, benevolent and wise!) And Close Encounters of the Third Kind is every Sunday's matinee. That's what I hope, pray and, in fact, believe your friend is experiencing. He already knows how Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull ends. He's seen Watchmen, with the "Black Freighter" footage, about 50 times, and it gets better with each showing. He was there on opening night to view Avatar, and the only reason he doesn't lean across that great celestial aisle between his favorite seat and yours and whisper to you what happens, is that he can't wait to see YOUR reaction to it, in your own time. For you see, there are no spoilers in Heaven.

"I remain, as always,
"Nico

"P.S. Oh very well, God screens that trailer for Iron Man on occasion, too. Sheesh. (Grin.)"

Props Department: Congratulations to binkley for his dual wins in both the Round Two Full-Year and Half-Year Ultimate brackets of the Super Leagues. Well done, sir! Kudos also go to lainiediamond, who took first place in both of the Round Two Box Office Super Leagues. Wow. I am so envious. Special mention also goes to the following players, who finished in the Top 5 percent of the various tournaments (some for the second time): MrHam, sean14307, kamakazi_down, Shryke42 (yay! I rule!), dranscht (twice ... AGAIN), stevos408, cRAzY, and J.I. And finally, a big ol' slap on the back to numbersix_99, who scored his first "Regulars" Ultimate league victory in nearly seven months, topping the charts in the just-completed Impractical Jokers league. Way to go, everybody! (And BTW, don't forget to drop me an e-mail if you haven't already signed up for the 2nd-Half Super League tournaments, which start the first week of June!)

Well, that will most definitely do it for me for another week. Please return next week, which just happens to be the one-year anniversary of Bard's Eye View. Not only will I be previewing two new films, namely The Strangers and Sex and the City: The Movie (which one is the horror film? I'll let you decide), but there just may be one or two surprises in store for you readers as well.

TTFN!

Shrykespeare swears that he is not a girlie man, a sissy, a pansy, a paintywaist, a wuss, a softie, a cream puff, a pushover, a wife-knows-best kowtower, or just plain more whipped than a six-gallon container of meringue. PLENTY of other guys watch Dancing with the Stars or whatever that other show that he mentioned is called. PLENTY of them. Lots. Tons. Dare to dispute him at shrykespeare42@gmail.com.