It's also sound advice. No doubt you have all heard by now that Fantasy Moguls is closing its doors, probably forever, leaving the Fantaverse to its own devices. But fear not, my dear, undervalued and faithful readers, we shall press on. Steps have already been taken to create a version of the game that, for the time being, will be more run-of-the-mill than you're used to, but with your support, I'm sure it will do until a more permanent and cool solution is found. Which, given the Fantaverse's collective IQ and stubborn streak, shouldn't be too far down the road.

This is probably going to be the longest column I've written since my overly-verbose first attempt back in April of 2007, but I hope I can still make you hang on my every word. Look at the bright side ... you'll never have to endure my tripe ever again. So, before I get down to the final bit of business, some things that you should know:

First, the Super Leagues. This year's contest WILL finish. I have made note of everyone's remaining films, and will continue to check in weekly until the end of December. Should it occur that our studios become inaccessible before that, any change you may want to make can be done by sending me an e-mail. As the admins have said, the last weekend update will occur after Thankgiving weekend, so continue to feel free to check my website (www.thelatestmoviereviews.com) for continued updates. I will also provide standings sheets for the ongoing Regulars Ultimate Leagues as well as my monthly Box Office leagues. Additionally, I am going to attempt to launch next year's Super Leagues on schedule. I still have everyone's registration, and though things like "brackets" and "passwords" are now a thing of the past, I will attempt to keep the game much as it was this year. If, however, you no longer wish to participate, I certainly won't hold it against you.

Second, the Message Boards. We/I have been told that Fantasy Moguls's Message Boards will continue to function indefinitely, but if/when there comes a point at which that changes, a substitute forum is already in place, courtesy of stalwart Mogul Barca Rulz. Sign up at http://thefantaverse.forumotion.net if you want to keep up with the latest news.

Finally, I ask for your patience and your support. If you want to be kept abreast of any latest developments, please make sure that I or one of the other columnists has your e-mail address. When a suitable replacement has been generated, you will be the first to receive an invite to join the Fantaverse's new colony.

This is the column where I was going to preview the final four films of 2008. Though it seems doing so now is as useless as spitting on a fish, I'm going to do it anyway. I've previewed every wide-release movie (well over 100 titles) to come out this year, and to sign off without doing the last few makes my anal-retentive nature just go bollocks. However, I'll probably leave out the parts about whether I deem each film a "good pick" or not. And so, for the final FINAL frickin' time, here goes.

Greetings one and all, and welcome to what is, sadly the very last installment of Bard's Eye View. It seems hard to fathom, even now, that this writing gig, which for me started because I decided to play a Message Board guessing game sponsored by Nicodemus, is coming to an end. It's been an interesting road, to be sure, but now, 77 columns, over 200 films, nearly 200,000 words and one near-death experience later, it's time to load up the truck and move to Beverly. (Hills, that is.)

Today I will be covering the four final films of 2008, all of which will be bowing on Christmas Day or the day after. There are two family comedies, a comic-book fantasy actioner and a historical thriller. These four films, along with The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (which I talked about in my last column) should make for some interesting choices on the same weekend that we're enjoying our latest gifts (damn, fruitcake again?!).

Yes Man and Seven Pounds, as I previously outlined, should open to very big numbers on Dec. 19, on the backs of their stars, Jim Carrey and Will Smith. And likewise, I look for huge numbers from Bedtime Stories, uniting the potent box-office magnetism of Disney and Adam Sandler. The former SNL alum, who has made a career of playing the overgrown kid, the foul-mouthed, quick-tempered hothead (and done very will indeed), is teaming with the epitome of family entertainment, the House of Mouse.

Much like Will Smith, Sandler has a very impressive streak of blockbusters going. Discounting his attempts at drama (Reign Over Me, Spanglish, Punch Drunk Love) and his animated movie, Eight Crazy Nights, the last seven comedies to feature Sandler as the top biller (and nine of his last 10) have all topped the $100 million mark. Will Bedtime Stories continue that streak? You better believe it, pilgrim.

In this story, Sandler plays a guy named Skeeter (no, really), who is asked by his out-of-work sister to babysit her two young children. Tucking them in, he proceeds to tell them a bedtime story ... which promptly comes true the very next day. Sensing an opportunity, he volunteers to tell them even more stories in the hopes that it will provide the answer to all of his problems, not realizing that nothing is that simple, not even for Disney.

Some might argue that the "family" crowd will be loath to take their kids to see this film simply because it has Sandler in it, given his track record for ribald humor. But I wouldn't worry too much; in fact, I wouldn't worry at all. I honestly believe that Bedtime Stories will be the biggest moneymaker of December. Despite its competition, I think it will open well above $50 million for the four-day weekend, and hold on to the No. 1 spot for at least one more week, en route to a final total of $175 million (which would pass Big Daddy for Sandler's most successful film ever). I, for one, can't wait to see it.

Another one that I really want to see is The Spirit, though, to be honest, I have a few more reservations now than I did a few months ago, when I made it my Most Anticipated film of late 2008. When the first full-length trailer came out, I was hooked. The visuals, the women, the music, all drew me in like a black hole. The two successive trailers, however, where more of the storyline, plot and dialogue were revealed, made the film look corny and unappealing.

If you've seen any of the trailers, you'll realize that this is a product of Frank Miller, who gave us the box office hit Sin City in 2005. In fact, the comic-book feel of that film, with its sharp black-and-white/color contrasts, is exactly the same as Sin City. And though the roster of stars isn't quite as lengthy or impressive, it's still fairly noteworthy: Samuel L. Jackson plays the Octopus, the story's big bad-ass villain, and the bevy of beauties that will be susceptible to the hero's wiles includes Scarlett Johansson, Eva Mendes, Sarah Paulson, Jaime King and Paz Vega. Probably the least-known member of the cast is the guy playing the title role, that being Gabriel Macht (The Good Shepherd, Because I Said So).

In this film, Macht plays Denny Colt, a rookie cop who "returns from the dead to fight crime in Central City from the shadows." According to what I've read, the film will be quite a bit more contemporary than the 1940s era that the original comic strip, written by Will Eisner, was set in, though the way the film is shot may tell you otherwise.

There's no denying that Frank Miller has talent, but I'm wondering if he should stick to writing and leave the directing to someone else. The dialogue from the trailers, if it's typical for the rest of the film, could be a turn-off. Yes, you expect comic-book dialogue to be a bit hokey and over-the-top, but there's a fine line between acceptable and unacceptable levels of it, and I'm wondering whether The Spirit will drive straight over that line and not look back.

If I were still calculating Top 5 chances, this weekend presents a bit of a problem. Consider the sheer volume of new and week-old films that will be in play: Seven Pounds, Yes Man, The Tale of Despereaux, Bedtime Stories, Marley & Me, The Spirit, Valkyrie and Benjamin Button. That's eight titles with big-dollar potential vying for five spots, which means that three will be left out in the cold. I feel assured the Sandler will win the weekend, and that Seven Pounds and Yes Man will be able to hold on. Benjamin Button and Despereaux COULD open bigger than I've surmised, and if that happens, will The Spirit have enough juice to join the party? My most optimistic prediction has this film opening at no more than $20 million (almost $10 million below first-weekend business for Sin City). That might be good enough for No. 4 or No. 5, but it's a big maybe.

Another film coming out on Christmas Day is Marley & Me, the third movie in three months where the main character is ... a dog. Unlike in Beverly Hills Chihuahua and Bolt, however, this dog doesn't talk (thank God), and his adventures are based on a true story. Based on the memoir of John Grogan, Marley & Me tells the story of a married couple (Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston) who decide to adopt a puppy. Picking out the cutest yellow Labrador retriever in the group, they discover that though adorable, Marley (that's what they name him) has a mischievous streak a mile long.

Also starring Haley Bennett (The Haunting of Molly Hartley), Alan Arkin (Get Smart) and Kathleen Turner (where has SHE been?), this looks to be your typical heartwarming Christmas fare. Though I haven't read the book, the plot couldn't be more spelled out. The dog will cause all kinds of problems, but in the end bring the family closer together and teach them a whole bunch of lessons about life. Yawn. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with that kind of story, and it's great to see Owen Wilson back in the game. It's entirely possible, however, that Hollywood has overdone the whole "dog" thing in recent years (and it continues in January, with Hotel for Dogs), and it's equally possible that filmgoers have had enough ... at least for now.

Sappy cuteness may play for small children and dog lovers, but unless Marley & Me brings more to the table than that, I can't see it being a breakout hit. As I said before, it might be able to just crack the Top 5 if it can pull in somewhere between $15 million and $20 million, but I doubt it will grab more than $50 million overall. Of course, I said the same thing about Alvin and the Chipmunks last year, so what do I know?

Opening the day AFTER Christmas, the final wide-release movie of the year, and the last movie I shall ever preview on this site, is Valkyrie, a historical thriller starring Tom Cruise, Kenneth Branagh, Bill Nighy, Tom Wilkinson and Terence Stamp. The plot is quite intriguing: A group of German army officers, dissatisfied with what Adolf Hitler has turned their beloved homeland into, concoct a plot to assassinate him at the height of World War II. Based on actual events, this film is being brought to the big screen by director Bryan Singer (X-Men, Superman Returns).

What fascinates me the most about this film is not the cast (even though Cruise has made some strides back to respectability), it's the fact that Valkyrie re-teams Singer with screenwriter Christopher McQuarrie. The pair, in 1995, respectively directed and wrote the screenplay for The Usual Suspects, which is, bar none, my favorite crime drama of all time. Which means that the bar is set awfully high when I walk into the theater to see this one.

Unfortunately, it's going to take a Herculean effort to compete with the big boys on this weekend. As I said, there are eight films with a good chance of figuring into the Top 5 somewhere, and Valkyrie is going to have to do at least $15 million or $20 million in order to beat the others. Despite the fantastic director-writer combo, does Tom Cruise have enough fans left to draw a big crowd? Or will moviegoers instead save their simloeons to see James Bond in another WWII drama, Defiance, just a few weeks later? That is the question. I, for one, will be seeing this one on opening day.

And with that ...

It's honestly hard for me to sum up what Fantasy Moguls has meant to me in the last two years. It became at first a diversion, then a hobby, then an obsession and finally a way of life for me, and that's just the game aspect. I never, EVER anticipated that I would have had a chance to show off my long-dormant writing skills, and I certainly never thought I would make so many great friends through this site.

I was the kid who always got picked on, all the way through school. I was short, bespectacled, geeky and unathletic, which basically means that a wide circle of friends and a measurable amount of respect are two things I've never had before. I got that here. I have become acquainted with some of the greatest people on Earth, and though I've never met any of them in person (God willing, I will some day), I can honestly say that they have all, in some way, changed my life for the better. (Even you, Donte!)

I should probably mention a few names, but there are so many that there's no way I'll be able to do it without accidentally leaving someone out, and I don't want to slight anyone on this, the occasion of our departure from these shores.

I absolutely must start with Nicodemus, the mercurial man-rat who lit a fire under me to let the wellspring of creativity that I had buried decades ago gush forth for all to enjoy. One of the smartest, funniest and wisest guys I've ever met, I can only hope that our friendship lasts for many years, and that the misfortunes that have befallen him and his family do a 180 in the coming year.

My next salute goes to my friend/protégé, David (a.k.a. Indie Jones and Chienfantome), the man who disproved everything that National Lampoon's European Vacation taught me — all Frenchman are not rude and snooty! This man is one of the coolest, most laid-back and friendly guys you could ever hope to me, a fount of knowledge about films, actors and directors that I've never heard of, and the type who would give you the shirt off his back. It has been my pleasure to watch you grow as a writer, and I lift my glass of virtual Sauvignon Blanc to you.

To my other friend David (a.k.a. Mister Informative/dranscht), it never ceased to amaze me how all-encompassing your knowledge was. While Indie and I mostly stuck to previewing new movies, you filled in every other conceivable gap that the game offered. You came at game strategy from every possible angle, putting things like PTA, or trailers, or studios, or what have you under your microscope, and you did it with flair and humor. Nico said it best: When Mr. Informative speaks, LISTEN. Well done, sir, you are a gentleman and a scholar.

To Cody (it's the last column, I can finally mention his name), our beleaguered editor (a.k.a. Mister Funktastic), who has been an absolute rock these past two years. Friendly to a fault, you allowed me to express myself with aplomb. I always reread my posted columns to find out what changes you made, and I was surprised each time to find how little that was. I don't know if the Fantaverse truly knows what an integral part you played in all this, but I want everyone to know, the place would not have been the same without you. Though I'm sure you're hella-relieved that you won't have to pore over our columns every week now, I hope you'll be a part, in whatever capacity, of whatever the game turns into from here on out.

To all of the people who made my Web site live and breathe — by sending me reviews, helping me with graphics and design, giving me tips and advice — or who are currently working to make it even cooler, flashier and more appealing (you know who you are), I thank you. I'm not sure how I got it in my head to start my own movie-review blog, and I wasn't sure if I had enough support to get enough reviews in the can to make it viable, but I put out the call and, lo and behold, you answered. I now have reviews of more than 100 movies posted on the site, and that's just movies from THIS YEAR ALONE. It's truly a measure of friendship when people offer to work this hard to help you out of the goodness of their hearts, and it speaks volumes about the character of the people who frequent this site.

To everyone who ever played the game, read my drivel, sent me an e-mail, engaged me in conversation on the Message Boards, enjoyed the tournaments, paid me a compliment or ripped me a new orifice, I thank you. If you enjoy watching movies, you're okay in my book. If you look at how movies are made, or how they're distributed, or how they play out in theaters, a little differently now than you did before, I'd like to think that I had something to do with it. With all the crap that life, the world, the economy, global warming, the infrastructure, the outfrastructure and whatnot have to throw at us on a daily basis, it's a wonder that we can remain sane, not to mention solvent. But there will always be movies. And I will talk about movies with anyone, anytime, anywhere.

And finally, to my beloved wife, who had to sit back and watch me type, type, type for hours on end with a supportive smile, moue, grimace, etc., I thank you for putting up with me while I indulge my fantasy. Some wives probably get frustrated when their husbands rush off to hang with the boys down at the pub, but I do it without leaving the den, which is probably even more frustrating. I want you to know how much I appreciate your tolerance, which borders on sainthood. Now put that frying pan down! [Conk]

And now I must leave you. It's tough, and more than a little bittersweet, to have to write these last few paragraphs. It's tempting to say something snarky or pithy, giving one last middle finger to "the establishment" that allowed this to happen, but that's not really my style. I've also racked my brain in an attempt to come up with something epic, monumental and historic, worthy of a future edition of Bartlett's, but that's not really my style either, and probably best left up to the vagaries of history. My "style," if one can call it that, is to repeat what I've heard and tweak it sideways, but perhaps this occasion doesn't call for that either.

So instead, I'll simply impart some pearls of wisdom that served me well for my nearly four decades on this planet: "People who live in glass houses should get dressed in the basement." "Lather, rinse, repeat." "Don't call me Shirley." "Take it off the rack, if it's whack, put it back." "Do not back up – severe tire damage." "May the Schwartz be with you." And of course, "It's better to have loved and lost than to have paid for it and not liked it."

Thank you all one final time for making these last two years special. Where we go from here is unknown, but I will never EVER forget what this place, and all of you, have meant to me. You are the best, and I defy anyone to tell me differently.

Best wishes,
Shrykespeare

We're sorry that Shrykespeare got a virtual conk on the bean from his wife. We hope that it was administered with a virtual frying pan, because Shryke's noggin is a national treasure. Send healing (or at least virtually healing) vibes to shrykespeare42@gmail.com.