LOOKING BACK

5. Teeth — Not because it's a particularly magnificent piece of filmmaking, but because, honestly, don't YOU think people with toothed genitalia are severely underrepresented in Hollywood? A lot of movie watchers would probably put Teeth in the "so bad it's good" pile; I wouldn't, although it's close. Whether it's supposed to be dark comedy, tongue-in-cheek, or serious feminist horror (I subscribe to the second theory, but I think an argument could be made for all three), the juvenile sense of humor in me appreciates just how awesomely laughable this movie is. On a much lesser scale, Teeth is like Snakes on a Plane (complete with close-ups of some disgusting injuries!) — the concept is just so ridiculous that you can't help but be intrigued. Although Teeth was delayed several times, eventually released in the wasteland of January, and was pretty much ignored at the box office (total gross less than $350,000), I'm of the opinion that any film able to make its tagline a clever yet horrendous pun of an already groan-worthy Poison song can't be half bad.

4. Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story — Box office disaster, box office schmischmaster. I understand why it failed to make a dent; the holiday season is all about family fare, and Walk Hard was boxed out because of its R rating. Even the decidedly more adult-skewing I Am Legend had a more grosses friendly PG-13. But that doesn't mean it was bad; I thought it completely blew Superbad out of the water. I wouldn't consider myself snobby, but it takes some understanding of past musical eras to really find Walk Hard hilarious — and maybe that's why I have the opinion I do. (The Beatles's cameo? One of the best parts.) And the songs are so stylistically similar to the artists they copy (Johnny Cash, for example, and especially Bob Dylan) that you might think it's actually those guys. Walk Hard also perfectly appeases my appetite for vulgar humor — particularly the protest song about inequality and prejudice that uses all the most horrible racial and ethnic stereotypes. It's difficult to justify, I know, and not everyone shares my opinion, but I'd call it one of the best comedies of 2007 (alongside The Simpsons Movie).

3. Quantum of Solace — When I came upon the trailer for the knockoff straight-to-DVD movie The Day the Earth Stopped, I watched it out of curiosity, knowing full well it would be terrible. It didn't even live up to those meager expectations, however, and I subsequently had to watch the Quantum of Solace trailer three times consecutively just to erase the other from my memory. The debate's been brought up multiple times: James Bond or Jason Bourne, who's cooler, who's more badass, who would you rather be? (For the record, Bourne may be tougher, but if I were to give up my superhero status and become a superspy, I'd be Bond, no question.) Solace makes the characters more similar than they've ever seemed before, but I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. And besides, Bond is separated by his suavity, womanizing, expensive cars and gadgetry. Quantum of Solace is one of few films this year I was fervently excited for, perhaps topped only by the remaining two on this list.

2. Tropic Thunder — Back in early August, I read an article in some box office magazine that talked about how "satires like Tropic Thunder and Disaster Movie are prepared to take the box office by storm." Now, people say the use of the word "retard" is offensive in Tropic Thunder, but honestly, isn't comparing Thunder to Disaster even more offensive? I mean, that's like comparing apples to ... not even oranges, more like frozen turpentine cubes, on the basis of deliciousness. Admittedly, Tropic Thunder is a movie for people who like movies, which means that not all of its satire hits home. I still think it's hilarious, however, even if you don't get all the references. Robert Downey Jr. playing a method actor and Tom Cruise a fat, balding studio executive are just too funny not to mention. And heck, even the fake trailers beforehand gave us Tobey Maguire's most convincing performance in years. All those things combine to make Tropic Thunder 2008's best comedy.

1. WALL*E — As you may have guessed by my photo at the top of this page, I'm a big, brawny guy. There's not much I view as cute, but somehow, WALL*E managed to get that out of me. I generally don't care a lick about love stories, but the plucky robot pulled me in anyway. Above all, I'm fascinated by how incredibly communicative the characters are without the benefit of language. It's done through the music (my alter ego has written a fairly extensive paper on that — in that respect, I'm glad the movie came out just because I had something both current and interesting to write about), through facial expressions (as much as is possible with robots) and even in the subtle beeps and whirs they make. It was a bold experiment on Pixar's part to make what was largely a silent film, but I think it paid off, big time. I'm most thankful for WALL*E, however, because it proved that letting a director make HIS movie, and not forcing him into one the studio wants (as, for example, 20th Century Fox reportedly did with Babylon A.D. and Australia, and IS doing with X-Men Origins: Wolverine) can still result in a quality film.

HONORABLE MENTION: I'm thankful for Atonement (because I can always appreciate a great musical score), for 21 (because it proved movies released in March don't have to be awful) and for The Dark Knight (because, among other things, at least Spider-Man 3 doesn't have the opening weekend record anymore).

LOOKING FORWARD

5. State of Play (April 17, 2009) — I thought about putting Watchmen here, but, you know, I'm just really not that excited about it. On the other hand, I look at the cast list for State of Play (Rachel McAdams, Russell Crowe, Ben Affleck, Jason Bateman, Helen Mirren) and think that this has to go against the trend that all films released in are pure dreck. (Interesting note: Crowe and Affleck replaced Brad Pitt and Edward Norton, who had originally signed on but left the project due to, in Pitt's case, the writer's strike preventing rewrites, and in Norton's, his commitment to begin shooting Leaves of Grass.) Plus, I'm much more interested in adult-oriented stuff like this than in most (but not all) graphic novel/comic book adaptations. It just can't be bad, not with a successful BBC miniseries as its inspiration, not with the director of The Last King of Scotland at the helm. It's the same kind of mystery thriller that's been successful in April before (I'm thinking of Fracture), but I think the bigger names associated with State of Play will make it even more commercially successful than that.

4. Sherlock Holmes (Nov. 20, 2009) — After Robert Downey Jr.'s career resurgence this year, I'm interested to see more of his acting. I've also always thought Jude Law was somewhat underrated, and would be better if he chose better projects (as in, NOT The Holiday). Plus, another bonus is the appearance of Rachel McAdams (that's two in a row on the list, though I promise, she's not my deciding criteria). This Sherlock Holmes, which is more about action — Holmes purportedly showcases fighting skills as lethal as his legendary intellect — will have to compete with a comedic version rumored to star Sacha Baron Cohen, but I don't think the two films will be released close enough to one another to make that big a difference. America really likes the Bourne-style hero, gritty and tough. That's why they ate up Quantum of Solace, and if the Sherlock Holmes character is re-imagined in a similar fashion, they'll eat that up too.

3. The Informant (Sept. 18, 2009) — I'm a big fan of Steven Soderbergh, and, to make another Jason Bourne connection, of Matt Damon as well. I also really enjoyed Syriana, another Soderbergh movie (he was an executive producer) that also starred Matt Damon and is about the combination of politics, economics, and justice with regard to international oil. Those three factors combine to make The Informant, about the U.S. government going after an agri-business corporation with a price-fixing accusation, pretty appetizing, at least to me. In addition to Syriana, it also reminds me a little bit of Michael Clayton. Not in that it'll necessarily earn Damon an Oscar nom as Clayton did for George Clooney, but that it sets up a one-guy-against-the-world kind of situation, which you know he'll handle with typical badassery. Heck, in that respect, this could almost be the fourth Bourne movie. (What would you call it? The Bourne Informant? The Bourne Whistleblower?)

2. Public Enemies (July 1, 2009) — This would make the list regardless of where it was filmed, but the fact that many locations were in my home state makes me all that more interested. (And, to follow the theme of the column, thankful, because it brings revenue and, more shallowly, celebrities to the Upper Midwest.) Fun anecdote: I went to a concert last spring in Oshkosh, Wis., at the same time Public Enemies was there filming. In between songs, the performer told a story about how he woke up to the sound of gunfire outside, and sort of feared for his life; he thought maybe Oshkosh was just a rough town. (The joke's on him — Oshkosh is annually named in those "nation's safest communities" lists.) He found out later that the gunfire was part of the Public Enemies crew filming a chase scene, felt a little sheepish, and then he proceeded to substitute Johnny Depp references into his lyrics for the rest of the night. Awesome. Bottom line reasons I'm thankful for this: the fact that it was filmed in Wisconsin, Michael Mann's action style, and Christian Bale and Johnny Depp in the lead roles.

1. Frost/Nixon (Dec. 5) — It's about time we started seeing the big Oscar contenders. This also makes the No. 1 spot largely out of immediacy, because it's the only film on my list to come out while the calendar still says 2008. Besides that, though, I have it on good authority from an early reviewer that Frost/Nixon is one of the best films of the year, that it's "a grand slam from start to finish." (I feel like that would be a great line as a blurb for a RottenTomatoes review.) Before I start sounding like one of those voiceover ads that just goes on and on heaping other people's praise on a film, I'll admit that I'm kind of a sucker for political movies like this. Not the ones that just take today's news and put it on screen; Frost/Nixon is different because it's about both politics AND history. It's not just history, it's also dramatic entertainment. Who says escapism can't take you through history rather than to a land of vampires or superheroes?

HONORABLE MENTION: I'm thankful for Bruno (because I just can't get enough of laughing at other people's ignorance), for Fast and Furious (because of the irony in Vin Diesel slinking back to an empty-headed car movie he thought his career was too hot for) and for Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen (because what's wrong with a mere popcorn flick if you recognize it for what it is?)

Above and beyond all of that, though, I'm thankful for Fantasy Moguls. For the community, for the atmosphere, for the readers who give me comments every week. For the strategy, for the innovation, for helping me keep up with movies even when I don't get the chance to watch them regularly. For giving us film buffs another space to discuss our respective expertise, for the analysis (and analogies) that never cease to be amusing, for the cast of characters I feel like I know even though I've never met. Most importantly, I'm thankful that Fantasy Moguls gave me the opportunity to write this column in the first place. I can't say that enough.

I can't say "Until next time, good luck!" this week, because there is no next time. But the discontinuation of Fantasy Moguls doesn't mean that Mister Informative will disappear. It's like in The Incredibles, when even though Mr. Incredible is no longer a costumed superhero, he still finds outlets for his heroics, and eventually gets called back into service. Maybe that will happen for me in the future. And even if it doesn't, the loss of the game doesn't diminish my passion for movies; I'll still write reviews for Shrykespeare's site, and take part in any new incarnation of Fantasy Moguls that happens to arise. Even if you just want to drop me a line, my e-mail inbox is always open.

Thanks again, to both the Fantasy Moguls "powers that be," and to the many Key Film Loaders, Second Second Assistant Directors, and Moguls among us. I've truly enjoyed being your superhero of the cinema.

We're in awe of Mister Informative. If we were trapped in a burning building, or even just a heated discussion of cinema, such as whether Superman, Spider-Man, Batman or John Wayne has had a greater impact on the movies, then we'd want him to be the one to rescue us. Alert him to your own celluloid dilemmas at misterinfomative@gmail.com.