It's really tough to get all geeked out when the No. 1 film in the country grosses a mere $15 million, especially in the middle of the holiday season. Certainly those who drafted Apocalypto AFTER their cohorts drafted The Holiday and Blood Diamond can take a measure of satisfaction out of collecting 5 Top 5 points, but it will all be short-lived with the trio of big openers due out this weekend (Charlotte's Web, The Pursuit of Happyness and Eragon).

It's great to know the Good Lord and His/Her followers recognize pandering when it's as obvious as New Line's Hallmark retelling of The Nativity Story. With less than $10 million in projected receipts, it's clear that those who flocked and flocked to the Christian-friendly The Passion of the Christ, were not moved to the theaters to watch what, by all accounts, is a slow, by-the-book telling of the Joseph and Mary story. So if you drafted it early in hopes the little-served religious audiences would put Natvity on their Movie wish list, then you put your faith in the wrong film.

I have been absolutely flooded with email over the past two weeks with Mogulers (yes, it is a proper noun) concerned about the performance of their slates, in particular those saddled with such underperformers as Flushed Away, Stranger Than Fiction and A Good Year. Even Deja Vu -- which had Disney Thanksgiving Blockbuster written all over it (at least it did to those of us who remember the abomination that National Treasure was ... and how it collected $173 million in total domestic box office) -- barely made $20 million over the 3-day period, and looks as if it will settle under the $75 million mark after all is said and done. Panic is starting to set in and while usually the response would be not to panic…let me be the first to tell you ... PANIC!

Ho-Hum. Staying very strong atop the box office this week are Happy Feet and Casino Royale. Finishing 1-2 for the second weekend in a row, both films show little erosion from their opening numbers for the three-day weekend -- especially when you figure in the elevated Wednesday-Thursday-Friday figures because of the Thanksgiving Holiday. Happy Feet has proven to be THE family film to own in the regular Moguls game having just about reached the $100 million plateau after just 10 days in release. 

Now I'm no lawyer, but with the rash of lawsuits being hurled at 20th Century Fox and the producers of Borat, I'm wondering why Michael Richards and his lawyers haven't adopted the "under the influence of Borat" defense for his Laugh Factory tirade. Seems plausible. The movie about the Kazakh reporter is in the forefront of the current zeitgeist and Mr. Richards hasn't been relevant for eight-plus years … so I'd buy this explanation. I'd also, of course, accept that he's a bigot. 

So now everybody got their predictions right.  After an opening weekend for Borat that definitively proved the adage often quoted on this site, “Nobody Knows Anything” (and in this instance, not only was every prognosticator wrong, but so was the all-mighty ‘tracking’, and 20th Century Fox), Borat comfortably finishes this weekend at Number 1. 

Ah…the vagaries of the release schedule. The all mighty tool that often dictates the success or failure of a movie. Studios pour over every weekend, plotting the specific date that gives their film the best chance to reach the widest audience.  It’s not science even if they treat it as such with graphs and charts and historical information.  When they finally settle on a date, it brings relief to the marketing department.  That is, until they ultimately decide to change the release…and thus destroy your Moguls slate in one fell swoop! 

What a country!  Not since Yakov Smirnoff uttered these words have Americans embraced a merry prankster from the Baltic States quite like they have Borat Sagdiyev. (Unless of course you include Gorbachev and his wacky attempt to instill capitalism in Russia.)

So if you don’t own The Santa Clause 3, Flushed Away or Borat this weekend, there is nothing out there for you to make a last moment acquisition that will advance your slate.  For this reason, I will dispense with the usual Pick-Up Artist column that tells you what films might be available and helpful to your slate.  Instead, we will take a look at the Fantasy Moguls Celebrity/Experts League.

Guess what movie you should think about drafting in your Moguls 2007 game?  Yes, an opening weekend of $34 million guarantees Horror fans the premiere of Saw 4 next Halloween.  And nobody could blame you for wanting to own it.  Defying the recent trend of Horror fatigue, the annual domination of this clever series featuring the mastermind of torture, Jigsaw, continues to show its teeth.  Get it?  Teeth.  Like teeth from a saw blade…okay, it’s been a rough weekend so I’ll refrain from further comedy.