It's really tough to get all geeked out when the No. 1 film in the country grosses a mere $15 million, especially in the middle of the holiday season. Certainly those who drafted Apocalypto AFTER their cohorts drafted The Holiday and Blood Diamond can take a measure of satisfaction out of collecting 5 Top 5 points, but it will all be short-lived with the trio of big openers due out this weekend (Charlotte's Web, The Pursuit of Happyness and Eragon).

It's great to know the Good Lord and His/Her followers recognize pandering when it's as obvious as New Line's Hallmark retelling of The Nativity Story. With less than $10 million in projected receipts, it's clear that those who flocked and flocked to the Christian-friendly The Passion of the Christ, were not moved to the theaters to watch what, by all accounts, is a slow, by-the-book telling of the Joseph and Mary story. So if you drafted it early in hopes the little-served religious audiences would put Natvity on their Movie wish list, then you put your faith in the wrong film.

I have been absolutely flooded with email over the past two weeks with Mogulers (yes, it is a proper noun) concerned about the performance of their slates, in particular those saddled with such underperformers as Flushed Away, Stranger Than Fiction and A Good Year. Even Deja Vu -- which had Disney Thanksgiving Blockbuster written all over it (at least it did to those of us who remember the abomination that National Treasure was ... and how it collected $173 million in total domestic box office) -- barely made $20 million over the 3-day period, and looks as if it will settle under the $75 million mark after all is said and done. Panic is starting to set in and while usually the response would be not to panic…let me be the first to tell you ... PANIC!

Ho-Hum. Staying very strong atop the box office this week are Happy Feet and Casino Royale. Finishing 1-2 for the second weekend in a row, both films show little erosion from their opening numbers for the three-day weekend -- especially when you figure in the elevated Wednesday-Thursday-Friday figures because of the Thanksgiving Holiday. Happy Feet has proven to be THE family film to own in the regular Moguls game having just about reached the $100 million plateau after just 10 days in release. 

Now I'm no lawyer, but with the rash of lawsuits being hurled at 20th Century Fox and the producers of Borat, I'm wondering why Michael Richards and his lawyers haven't adopted the "under the influence of Borat" defense for his Laugh Factory tirade. Seems plausible. The movie about the Kazakh reporter is in the forefront of the current zeitgeist and Mr. Richards hasn't been relevant for eight-plus years … so I'd buy this explanation. I'd also, of course, accept that he's a bigot. 

So now everybody got their predictions right.  After an opening weekend for Borat that definitively proved the adage often quoted on this site, “Nobody Knows Anything” (and in this instance, not only was every prognosticator wrong, but so was the all-mighty ‘tracking’, and 20th Century Fox), Borat comfortably finishes this weekend at Number 1. 

Ah…the vagaries of the release schedule. The all mighty tool that often dictates the success or failure of a movie. Studios pour over every weekend, plotting the specific date that gives their film the best chance to reach the widest audience.  It’s not science even if they treat it as such with graphs and charts and historical information.  When they finally settle on a date, it brings relief to the marketing department.  That is, until they ultimately decide to change the release…and thus destroy your Moguls slate in one fell swoop! 

What a country!  Not since Yakov Smirnoff uttered these words have Americans embraced a merry prankster from the Baltic States quite like they have Borat Sagdiyev. (Unless of course you include Gorbachev and his wacky attempt to instill capitalism in Russia.)

So if you don’t own The Santa Clause 3, Flushed Away or Borat this weekend, there is nothing out there for you to make a last moment acquisition that will advance your slate.  For this reason, I will dispense with the usual Pick-Up Artist column that tells you what films might be available and helpful to your slate.  Instead, we will take a look at the Fantasy Moguls Celebrity/Experts League.

Guess what movie you should think about drafting in your Moguls 2007 game?  Yes, an opening weekend of $34 million guarantees Horror fans the premiere of Saw 4 next Halloween.  And nobody could blame you for wanting to own it.  Defying the recent trend of Horror fatigue, the annual domination of this clever series featuring the mastermind of torture, Jigsaw, continues to show its teeth.  Get it?  Teeth.  Like teeth from a saw blade…okay, it’s been a rough weekend so I’ll refrain from further comedy.

With the official start of Fantasy Moguls a mere two days away, most of you have probably had your draft and already might be panicking about your slate.  The best advice I can give you is to be patient as none of your films have bombed yet, so you don’t really know where you stand in relation to your competition. 

Does this mean we're about to see studios put 20 magicina pictures into production? Fearing The Illsuionist had stolen much of its thunder, a concerned Disney opened The Prestige, the Chris Nolan directed period piece about competing magicians to a surprisingly healthy 1st place showing.

Just yesterday, the greatest minds in all of Internet-land gathered to discuss and participate in the coming revolution. While this group’s influence is felt far and wide--perhaps on the level with Herb Allen’s annual Sun Valley retreat (but with fewer private jets), they came together not to conjure E-vil, but to take part in something that could change the way the world looks at the entertainment business. As you might have guessed, we are speaking about the Fantasy Moguls Expert League Draft!

Wither a genre? Evidently the answer is yes. Just one short year after entrancing audiences, it seems we are experiencing a collective Truman Capote fatigue as Infamous fails to connect with an upscale crowd. With a flailing PTA hovering just above $2000 per theater, it's a sad day for the studios who had no less than seven more films on the release schedule focusing on the enigmatic, resplendent, socially connected author of In Cold Blood. Wait. That's not the genre proven to be a death's door after this weekend? Oops. Okay then. I guess I will also declare that Horror is dead too.

To answer your first question in reference to the title of this column, Yes, I am a fan of the entire Robert Downey, Jr. filmography. However, while many have told me that I have the face of a Botticelli and the body of a Degas, this title more specifically refers to the advice we will dispense in case your Fantasy Moguls studio slate is lacking in a particular category or two. This column will look at upcoming films that might be un-owned in your game and will appear on Wednesdays to try and help you make last minute add/drop decisions that will enable you to accrue the needed points to topple your opponents. For obvious reasons, this will be most helpful in the prestige categories (Review and PTA), as it is more than likely the films expected to perform well at the box office (and thus the Top 5 category), will already be on someone else's slate. Of course, if our data reveals that a particular movie is going un-played in a high percentage of leagues, we will hip you to that as well—and if we don't have that data readily available to us, we'll just make it up anyway.

Defying Martin Scorsese's history, The Departed exceeds expectations to an opening weekend of more than $27 million. Saving Warner Bros. from the continuation of their year-long ignominy, the stellar cast attracted many more females than anticipated and probably saved a few jobs as reported by our own Steve Mason. While still a ways off from profitable (it cost more than $100 million to make), that breeze blowing hot from the north is not an ode to the Santa Ana winds or Randy Newman, but instead the collective sigh of relieve of executives with kids in private school.

It was Open Season at the box office this weekend... no wait, that's too corny, even for me--let me try again...

As summer sets its weary head and autumn brings with it blustery days and the fall foliage, Hunters take to the woods armed against nature's beasts... no, hold on, that could get too grizzly-one more try...

Because a desperate audience had to wait almost an entire two months since the last animated movie about talking animals rebelling against humans, Hollywood privileged us with Open Season and we responded with more than $23 million worth of business. Let's hear it for originality! Ahhhh, that feels much better! Much more in tone with my general snarkiness.

On the website, we currently offer each studio the ability to add any un-owned film which has yet to open in the theaters on a first come-first served basis. (Although no studio may have more than six films on their slate at one time so in order to add a film, you must drop one first.)

However, there is an alternative that you can do if you want. It involves a budget and bidding on unowned movies. The benefit is that every studio gets a shot at every free agent movie. The down side is it does not reward those who are quickest to the website. There is strategy involved with the bidding and nominating process which adds to complexity of the game, but it is more involved and you need to have a commish that is on the ball.

Welcome to the Fantasy Moguls.com Draft Kit! I am your host, Mr. Roark.

And while I do not have the pleasure of Herve Villechaize's company or nearly enough rich, Corinthian leather, let me be the first to extend a warm hand and wry smile as you embark on a journey that may seem familiar, but exists in a slightly alternate universe.

FantasyMoguls.com is a fantasy league...for movies. Like Fantasy Football or Rotisserie Baseball, FantasyMoguls.com allows you to become a, er, mogul, and run your own Hollywood Movie Studio.

As you prepare for your first ever Fantasy Moguls Draft, I thought I would take this opportunity to let you know that there are certain things you can surmise about how a film will perform, even if the only thing you know is its release date.

This is a relatively new concept. The studios discovered that a certain genre of film, released on a particular weekend can reap hefty box office returns. Sure, the studios have always released the largest number of films (and their biggest offerings) in the "Summer" or "Holiday" period, but over the last decade or so, through trial and error, studios are 'finding an audience' where they did not know one previously existed.